Monday, June 30, 2008

Spot the Imposter

I asked two live action Kens if they would pose with a plastic Ken on each shoulder caressing their face and they told me they couldn't because they were in a rush, yet half an hour later I saw them strolling around eating McFlurries. I know McFlurries are a delicious summer treat and everything but there was no need to rush.

But boys have to be reverse-psychologized. As soon as I placed my Kens for their glamour shots this guy was like "hey friends I'm going to play a joke! Look at me I'm posing with the dolls!"

Joke's on you!!!

Ken Army

My original idea for the Ken header was a diorama in which all the boys would be wearing perfectly tailored hip clothes. That lasted for about five seconds before I started taping toilet paper onto them. The grey V-neck worked out pretty well though. But that Ken has no pants.

*click image for closer view of shoddy workmanship

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Hot Cop, Place de la Bastille

This Hotcop let me take his picture on the condition that there be "no funny business". What kind of funny business? Like posting you on a website mostly viewed by gay men?

Sorry my pretty, that's what you get for choosing one of the Village People careers.

Paris is Burning 2, Place de la Bastille but seriously baby, straight is the new queer. It's like oh I'm sooo queer I like girls. I read all about it in this magazine article in my pocket...oh whoops fell down the sewer grate, too bad, you'll have to take my word for it.

cute boy: umm...that was a Kit Kat wrapper

What? No silly, it was KitKat magazine, it's a really popular teeny red magazine...from New York. You wouldn't know it cause you're French.

Can we make out now?

Paris is Burning, Place de la Bastille

1664, excellent choice. many of those have you had? Enough to arouse your hetero-curiosity...?

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Happy Pride Betches!!!!

Mama drank a likkle bit too mush of her special medecine so she can't post all the cyut boys from Paris Pride right now. But rest assured that the next few days will be filled with boys who will never ever love me.

A study in male modeling, Le Marais

Guy on the left was a total babe but you can't really tell because he held that horizontal Zoolander pose for like ten photos. Whereas guy on the right worked it shot after shot. These are only two of his many looks, each more sultry than the last.

Quentin, Paris

Get your meddling fingers out of here less hot friend. I'll fake take your picture in a second. God.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Businessman, Paris

I don't usually approach businessmen. Not only because they make me want to barf in my mouth a little bit, but also because even when they are cute I fear how they'll react to me. Like they'll either creepily ask me to be their secretary or else tell me to get a job and wear a bra.

But this is probably the best businessman ever. He literally jumped in front of my camera and started making funny faces and saying "prennez ma photo! prennez ma photo!" which was like an ice cream cone falling directly into my hand from the sky.

German Dread, Paris

Normally dreads on a white person would be cause for immediate disqualification from cute boy battle royale. But this boy was preeeetty pretty in the face. Plus he's German and for some reason that made it ok (maybe white people dreads is normal over there???)

Then that lady walked by and made that "oooooh sheeit!" face so that put him over the top.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Another cute au bord de la Seine

Yes I'm taking you're picture. Thank you for finally turning around enough for me to get a face shot. god.
What are all those betches doing in the background? This is a no girls club (so we're only allowed one).

Enrique, Paris

Ooh look at Enrique working his pose. Looks natural but it's posed. That's what it takes to be a male model.

Maybe one day he will invite me out to share a special halo halo with him and I'll eat the crushed ice, condensed milk and candied fruit and he'll eat the lentils and pieces of potato.

Love from

Torontoist just gave Cute Boys so much love I had an epiphany: instead of searching for love from boys all this time I should have been getting it from the internet.

Example: Google Image search "bears holding hearts" just gave me a cartoon of a bear holding a heart! and the heart says "i love you"! and there are hearts in his eyes!

Oh Google Images, you had me at picture of bear holding heart.

*thanks Sarah Nicole

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Matis, au bord de La Seine

Oh it's Matis! And he wants all the Montreal betches to know he is moving there in the fall to go to art school.

Oh art school boys! They are always the cutest. That is until they break up with you because you're "not punk enough" (true story).

Au bord de La Seine

Why would anyone ever go to a bar in Paris when an ok bottle of wine costs 3 euros at the grocery and there are always a bunch of young people having a sexy party by the Seine who look like anime had it been invented in France.

Hey who's that in the back? He looks like he has something to say...

La Coquette Shout-Out

Parisian blog superstar La Coquette just wrote "oh how I am loving this blog" about this guy.

Thanks Frite-Maison! Maybe one day we will run into eachother at the Parmentier Leader Price and we can give eachother high fives before purchasing our reasonably priced grocery items.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Another Skinny at Vice party

No one at this party wanted me to take their picture alone. Little did they know I am a Photoshop master and can cut people out of pictures at will!!! I am like God of photos!

Oh what? That one with the little crayon and bucket of paint isn't Photoshop? Ok, i'm Microsoft Paint master then. Same thing. Very modern either way.

James, Toronto

Look it's James from Urban Outfitters! Sooo urban. Two other cute things about James besides his urbanness are :

1) he has nice tattoos dedicated to his mom
2) when I asked him how old he was he said "twenty and a half"

OMG Shout Out

Cute Boys just got a shout out on ! Thanks home Fritzls! I will assume that when you wrote "questionable taste" you meant to write "unquestionable".

Monday, June 23, 2008

Nathan, Toronto

I tried to hit on Nathan once and through the magic of drunken conversations about nothing realized that we were related. Which in the end is good I suppose since we avoided making four-eyed babies (and I'm not talking about those cute babies that wear glasses! I love those babies.)

Oh also he's a male model. Sooo basically I am Liz Lemon.

Update: This boy and this boy

Umm...Paris is a big city right? Like there are more than say 50 people in it? Then can someone explain to me why I have run into both of these boys on the street a second time (with awkward results!)?
Usually I can only steal boys' beauties knowing I have my bicycle and I can escape into the sunset immediately after. I prefer not to stand next to them at a red light having a silent panic attack. Actually I think the bottom one might be my neighbour so basically I'm foiled forever.

Salt and Pepper, Paris

Oh look at this skinny cute who is like twelve but has salt and pepper hair.

I only noticed after I posted this, but notice how hilariously evil and French the guy on the left looks. He must be seeing something terrible happening just outside of the someone wearing a striped zip up hoodie with a black hood over a crappy blue shirt...oh wait...ummm...something even crappier. (click image for full effect)

Phil A, Toronto

Boh look at this adorable half-mahgrebian ray of sunshine. (other half premium plus cracker).

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Lord of the Rings shirt, Pont Alexandre III

I love how this weirdy looks like his shirt. Also lots of Parisian boys have hair like this. I think it's supposed to be rock et roll but it just reminds me of the glorious wigs from the colonial days.

**thanks anonymous comment person for reminding me that this is a Lord of the Rings shirt not Star Wars one. um..I swear I knew that. Boh, I'm a fool.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Vice Summer Party, Pont Alexandre III

This boy was standing alone and looked sooo scared and adorable. He thought I was taking a "don't" picture of him.

Vice Summer Party, Pont Alexandre III

My friend warned me about this venue because it is known for douchebaggyness. I think this boy is a prime example of a French douche: not very good style, irrationally cocky, and yet strangely attractive...

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Fireman Expo continued

Luckily the expo wasn't a complete bust since I got this beauty here. Though judging by fact that:

a) his face looks like a piece of fine china
b) he was also taking pictures of the firemen

I'm going to go out on a limb and say this one is for the gentlemen

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Fireman Expo, aka I'm an idiot

Wow, I'm so amazingly out of touch with reality. I actually thought the fireman openhouse was going to be a bunch of male models in fireman suits having a sexy party and showing how their hoses work (zing!)...instead of scary French skinheads carrying kids up and down ladders, showing how their hoses work (literally), who look like they want to rip your face off when they notice you're taking their picture. I swear this was the cutest one of all.

p.s. If you click on the image you can fully view the look of disgust on this man's face

Monday, June 16, 2008

Guy with Girlfriend, Metro

On the topic of girls who want to beat me up, this boy's girlfriend showed up to meet him right as I started taking his picture. She looked like she wanted to kick her foot through my box (not in a sexy way) and as she walked away she gave me this "can't touch this" smirk and grabbed his arm.

Ummm...whatever betch I already have a man ok? You may have heard of him? He's a carpenter, from a little town called Nazareth (Galilee?). And P.S. he thinks you're promiscuous.

David, rue des Pyrenees

David was selling things at the community garage sale of a lifetime! He was with a lady so I had to circle a million times until she went away because I'm always scared girlfriends are going to beat me up or at least evil-eye me to death.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

!!!, rue des Pyrenees

I often say I'm taking a picture for a "style blog" because the truth is too embarrassing. But then they ask to see the picture and it's a close-up of their face. Boh.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Teeny Drums, Paris

This boy is in the toy instrument band too. He plays teeny drums. You can see them better if you click on the image.

Arthur, Paris

This boy is in a band that only plays on toy instruments and their show was in a little hidden forest only accessible through an anarchist bookstore. But the best of all is that they write their lyrics in French then google translate them into English (with hilarious results!)

Friday, June 13, 2008

Salvador Dali, Parc de la Villette

You can't really tell in this picture but his boy has one of those curly Salvador Dali moustaches. Plus look at his little shirt and bashful smile. Cute-zone!

Air Guitar Solo, Revisited

Since it is another rainy day in Paris and Air Guitar Solo remains one of my favourites ever, here are a few more of his wonderful poses which he clearly practices in front of the mirror.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Thomas, Brighton

Thomas is British so that means he pronounces the word muggle like muggow (probably). Also he is smart at reading books.

He is in the rock and roll combo Revenge of Shinobi:

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Felipe, Parc de la Villette

Felipe is either El Guincho's friend, roadie, or a musician on his album. I'm not sure because I was pretending I understood his Spanish accent but I didn't at all. Or maybe I was just lost gazing into his beautiful browning teeth (not sarcasm).

Sunday, June 8, 2008

El Guincho, Parc de la Villette

This boy is from Barcelona and makes musics. I think the key element of his cuteness here is how tiny his leg is. He is like a bobble-head a little bit.

This photo was taken by someone else. But she assures everyone that this boy made her very

*thanks Sarah!!!

Andres, Paris

I haz fevah. Only medicine more Colombians.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Diego, Paris

You know the part in Juno where she goes: "The funny thing is that Steve Rendazo secretly wants me. Jocks like him always want freaky girls. Girls with horn-rimmed glasses and vegan footwear and Goth makeup..."

I have that except opposite. And instead of with jocks it's with Colombian ginos with jelled hair and Menudo jean jackets.

Friday, June 6, 2008

Benoit, La Perle

Benoit was like "why are you taking a picture of us? There are so many good looking people here!" which was true...La Perle is where all the too good-looking people go.

Sometimes they let hunchbacks with tourets syndrome like me in, but only when they wear a fedora with a piece of paper that says "Press" sticking out of it.

Joao, La Perle


Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Macaulay Culkin, Outside La Fleche d'Or

Oh popsicle stick effigy of Macauley Culkin! I knew if I just kissed you and tucked you in and sang to you every night, one day you would come to life! And you're even more beautiful now than you were in the may 1993 copy of Tiger Beat from which I cut out your face.

(This boy is in Fleet Foxes too)

Robin, Outside La Fleche d'Or

Robin is in a band that is very good at musicking. You should go listen because it will make you sad in a happy way like the fat american lady near the end of "Paris Je t'Aime".

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Richard, outside La Fleche d'Or

As well as this plastic vintage Russian camera, Richard also had an umbrella with a curved handle and a teeny briefcase. So I made him pose for an innappropriate amount of photos. Then he made this pose. What a joker!

Forever Plaid, La Fleche d'Or

I think these are the types of boys that lead to comments like "you only post anorexic boys who wear skinny jeans. not cute!"

But, you may not know this about me, but I have successfully maintained my goal weight of 64 pounds for three years. And though I no longer get my period, my dream is to one day marry a skinny boy and make a premature baby...that stays premature forever!!!! Then we will be the skinniest family in town!!!!!

Monday, June 2, 2008

Hernan, Chile

Hernan is part of the Chilean reggae scene. Yes there is one, and how! And if you are a fan of Sean Paul and Latin music...which I'm sure you are, because who isn't? (answer: nobody) Then he has some nice songs for you:

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Nay, Paris

This is actual quote by Nay: "Sometimes I have trouble sleeping because I'm laughing so hard thinking about episodes Clone High" (!!!!!)

Jeremie, Marche Bastille

Jeremie got his bike at Velo Vintage too because that's what all the cool kids do. He also has a marvelous pompadour and wristwatch. So he is a winner at life.