Saturday, August 30, 2008

Jeremy Finklestein, Queen WW

You can't tell but this cute man has a little grey patch of hair like a male Cruella Deville. Very style! Too bad that betch on the left is ruining the picture.

No girls club! betch!

Friday, August 29, 2008

Update: something exciting!

Hello no boy today, too busy sorting through all the Hoosiers (that means "persons from Indiana")...but...exciting news... On September first get ready for the interview of a lifetime! By which I mean minor Toronto celebrities who you may or may not know even if you're from Toronto interviewed in an unprofessional way. I will give you a hint:


Thursday, August 28, 2008

Andrew, Urban Herbivore, Toronto

My boy criteria used to be limited to angry scowls and tattoos. Which it still is except it now includes the alternate quality of "youthful glint of hope in the eye".

Look at all that glint! If we make out do I get your hope?!?!?

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Haldon, Toronto

Haldon is one of Toronto's top babes! I was trying to organize a fake accidental run-in so I could get his picture but then actually had an accidental run-in at Trinity Bellwoods Park.

Luck? Not really...Trinity Bellwoods is BABE CENTRAL. waogahgaoghaogheg aovh a!!!!!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Lomo store, Lisbon

When I bought an SLR camera I thought it would make me look cool and give me cred and not-- as I realised upon arrival in the tourist trough of Paris--like only one of many turbo idiots who don't know how to use their expensive equipment.

So it was with great anxiety that I approached this babe who, by virtue of working at a fashion camera store, is an expert at smelling camera related fronting. Then the pictures kept coming out blurry and dark and crappy and I had surpassed the appropriate length of a stranger taking your picture photo shoot so I broke down and asked him why it wasn't working:

Me: (in an approximation of portuguese): this is not photo working! why for bad photo?!?
Cuteboy: (in perfect english) yeah, your hand is covering the flash.

GAH! Why I am not learning play it cool?

Monday, August 25, 2008

Guilherme, Porto

This cuteboy knows how to pose to let his babe shine through: look at how his hands behind his back poofs him up and makes him look strong and how he's squinting his eyes like he has to get a clearer look of you (yes you!).

Also he also gave me a free glass of port for all my trouble. Take note Portuguese James Franco, you wine watering down bastard.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

James Franco, Porto

Thanks for the WATERED DOWN WINE Portuguese James Franco. You are one sneaky frosted-tipped, rooster haired James Franco.

This is him explaining that we had in fact recieved "special portuguese wine" which explained it's magical properties of not making one drunk and looking and tasting like water. I supposed if they can build a better James Franco they can build a better wine. Oh wait...not getting drunk is NOT a better James Franco.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

More lessons in Gino, Porto

I tried for a really long time to get a group shot of this gino posse, I was hoping that I could get them to pose in some sort of brotherly love "we're so homophobic that we are going to do something really gay" way, but they kept covering their faces or scattering like pigeons while shrieking and laughing every time I was about to get them.

I thought, OMG I have discovered the secret of cat-calling ginos! They are really shy sensitive types who harass women to defend themselves from their gaze. They are really just sensitive boys who are scared...scared to love.

But on closer inspection of the photos I realised that they were just trying to hide that enormous joint they were rolling.

Update: Cuteboy Olympic Tragedy!!!

The last time CBMMN talked to cuteboy Rob he was on his way to his qualifying race for the Beijing olympics in the crowd favourite 3000m steeplechase. Since the event is so popular it isn't shown on TV I emailed Rob to see how things turned out:

"My race was okay but I took a little too long, oh well I didn't make the Olympics. But I won the Canadian championship last weekend which was fun. Let people know that in the past month I lifted a bunch of weights and now I'm ripped and I also won a spelling bee."

Don't worry Rob! That "aww sheesh" attitude is exactly what we Canadians are known and loved for! And by known I mean one time someone asked me if Canada was in Europe. And by loved I mean the way someone loooves a sandwich.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Carlos, Lisbon

I think most of us would see a hunk like Carlos here and immediately see his English sloganed eighties wifebeater, bulging hunk muscles, chain, baseball hat with curved brim, and angry gino scowl and think "oh no he couldn't possibly be for me, I only accept boys with toothpick legs, an intellectual scowl, an ironic eighties wife beater, ironic chain and a hat with a straight brim."

You see how they've tricked us? These skinny devils are the same as a Carlos only with no muscles and all they have to do is go "haha these are joke clothes that I am wearing...that other guy's a joke and I'm joking on him" and we go "oh teehee you so funny" and have boring bolo seco especial with them and all the sincere Carloses get snapped up by hussies.


Wednesday, August 20, 2008

The li'lest butcher, Lisbon

Did you know that the inspiration for this site was two teen Portuguese butchers at the discount grocery store in little Portugal? I remember it clearly: I went up to ask them a meat-related question and when I saw them standing there with their breezy gino attitude, gold chains and swirly patterns shaved into the sides of their chiseled heads I got so nervous that I left without 99cent pork loin special. In a porkless flash I realized that all my high school making fun of ginos had been a supression of a hidden desire to be included in their sexy car stereo and cigarette parties in front of the school.
So how appropriate that this first Portuguese is a sad l'il butcher sitting by his l'il carcass fridge. Don't click on the image because then you will see that he has a little bit of acne and is fourteen.
P.S. bolo seco especial = special dry ball(s) HAHAHA!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Petr, Saint-Petersburg

Thank you for all those funny Russians guest blogger Margie! Of course it's obvious that this photo that I stole from your Russia album has been modified by me personally...your posts were good and everything but you didn't study Photoshop at MIT like me.

Now it is time to close the (sexy) iron curtain and get on with the "running away from my problems Western world tour 2008" (not to be confused with the 2002 and 2006 editions)

Monday, August 18, 2008

Tiger-man, Moscow

The quintessential Russian woman's dream: fur and a muscley man with cheetah makeup in a burlap sack

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Alexei, Bus

Alexei serenaded us for some of the 8-hour train ride with Russian folksongs. He wanted to hitch hike back with me from Moscow to Petersburg with a daring 'Margie is an adventuress, she'll hitch hike back, right?' I think I ruined my good impression when I was like 'hmm . . . sounds good but the train ride back at 3am is only 400 rubles ($20) and we'll actually get home . . . ?

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Choo-choo charlie and a claaaass act, Metro

You hear so many stories about the metro at night, that when you go and find this Vaudevillian tapdancer, it's like finding out the monster under your bed is a stuffed kitten.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Cool Royalty

These two are like the cool royalty of St. Petersburg . . . the guy on the left is a dj at club Troika (trinity) which was club Dvoika (duo) the previous year and Odin (one) and Null (0) the year prior. Hotlarious!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Dima Bilan #2, Saint-Petersburg

A more developed version of the 'Dima Bilan'. I said not a mullet.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Dima Bilan, Saint-Petersburg

This is a mild version of the haircut referred to as the 'Dima Bilan'. No, not a mullet, a 'Dima Bilan'.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Exhibit A, Saint-Petersburg

When I agreed to take pictures of 'cute boys' as a guest poster, I wondered if getting people to pose would be a problem.

Fortunately for me (and you by proxy) getting Russian men to take their shirts off is like shooting fish in a barrel, and instead of shooting you just wait. This is especially the case when they are drunk - which is all the time. See exhibit A.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Naked Castro, Saint-Petersburg

Not only does this costume-party dreamboat know how to pose, his mysterious aquisition of a fake plastic butt in Russia's northern capital also means he is one resourceful hombre. I can't find a meatless greengrocer, but he can find a fake plastic butt? Skills like this in and of themselves used to render the most homely of men eligible bachelors in the USSR, let alone hunks like Fidel here.

Pink Mafia, Piknik Afisha concert, Moscow

People who underestimate the savvy and flair of the Russian gay scene obviously haven't met Sascha here who puts the ordinary North American androgynous dude to shame.

Take note: Sascha doesn't just wear pink, he surrounds himself with a pink gang to make sure no one is clashing with his getup or making him seem more approachable. I thought the suggestively-placed vodka bottle smuggled in my pantyhose might have given me more of a chance with him but I didn't even get past his pink 'face control' bodyguards here.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

My Little Pony, Saint-Petersburg

I originally took this gentleman's photo because of his attractive outfit but then realized that the positioning of the girl's ponytail combined with his sunglasses/glare combination made him look like a pedophile coming out of the bushes disguised as a My Little Pony. I kept him though, because he made me feel less creepy for taking photos of people I don't know and posting them on websites (by comparison).

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Oleg and Evegny, Moscow

They're clapping for you!

from Russia with surliness

I am going to Portugal for a week. In the meantime prepare for some LOLZ from guest blogger Margie stationed in St.-Petersburg. The boys are going to be cute in a funny way I bet! Like: haha you'd be hot if you weren't so weird in the clothes. Also Margie is reaally funny in the jokes.

After I return there will be a whilrwind tour of boys from:

-Basque country
-Glorious land of birth of all those who are good and holy: Ottawa, Ontario
-and...wait for it...dreams coming true in 5-4-3-2-1: INDIANOPOLIS, INDIANA (I know...I'm so excited I'm basically sitting in a pile of my own shitted pants right now)

Anyways blablabla, enjoy the Rooskies.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Sneaky Feats, Brick Lane

I know I know , why would I take a picture of this dude with a baseball cap and gold chains when London is full of one million skinny boys with tight pants a dandy accessories. It's because I was on a romance weekend, so I had to be sneaky and take pictures when I could.

Blogs before bros!!!!

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Adi, Some Street...wah lost :(

OMG it's every single one of my ex-boyfriends ever: super skinny, pale, a little bit gay, thinks I'm weird and finds it charming (later will find it annoying)

P.S. Check out the double-decker! I'm soooo photography.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Metaphorical Bear, Brick Lane

This boy was totally nervous and awkward...lesson to be learned: HIT ON EVERY BOY ALWAYS!!!!! Boys are like bears...more scared of you than you are of them. Also they are like bears when they are part of the gay subculture called bears. In which case they are only scared of you because of your nasty vajayjay. So, don't hit on real bears. Only metaphorical ones!!!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Swann, Shoreditch

The first English boy that caught my eye was FRENCH. Damn you French people! You've seduced me with your saucy anger much like the Colombians once did with their furious salsa (get it?!?!?! Pun!!!!)

And since the English have put me in a pun-ny mood (hahaah!!!!) here are some puns using the name Swann:

-I don't think this Swann was ever an ugly duckling (!)
-Swann definitely doesn't have to go on hit reality show The Swan
-something something Swann song (don't really know what swan song means but I know it is an yer own pun!)