Monday, September 1, 2008

Exclusive Interview! The Cheese Hunks!




Anyone living in Toronto who has the slightest interest in cuteboys will have heard of Cheese Magic in Kensington market. The "magic" is that it only employs young attractive men known as the "cheese hunks". I had to stop going in 2007 because it made me feel too bad about myself. But mystery surrounds these they know they're hunks? What does it take to be a cheese hunk? Do they have sexy naked fondue parties every night with many beautiful women? All these answers and more in INTERVIEW OF LIFETIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CBMMN: What percentage of customers would you say are women?
Chris: about 70%

CBMNN: And of the remaining 30% what percentage are gay men?
Jay: Probably about 50%

CBMNN: Were you aware of the reputation of Cheese Magic before applying here?
Hunks (lying): no not at all!
Jay: It's only a coincidence!!

CBMNN: Then why would a bunch of babes want to work in a cheese store?
Hunks: ...

CBMNN: What was the application process?
Jay: It was easy I just had like a two minute interview and I was hired.

CBMNN: Interesting...Is your boss a woman?
Jay: yes

CBMNN: Do you get hit on all the time by customers?
Jay: What do you mean by hit on?

CBMNN: you know like "hellooooo, woohoo" and hanky waving
Jay: I don't know how to answer that question without sounding like an asshole. I guess a lot of women flirt with us. But mostly we get written about on missed connections on Craig's list. Sometimes it's a little scary but usually pretty hilarious.

CBMNN: Any advantages to being a cheese hunk? Modeling contracts? Gifts?
Jay: No, I still don't understand what this whole Cheese Hunk thing is about...
Chris: I got asked out for dinner last week

CBMNN: Did you go?
Chris: Well I have her business card I'm supposed to call

CBMNN: Business she's an adult? Are you going to call?
Chris: Well she said she'd make me dinner at her house, so yeah I'm probably going to call...

CBMNN: What is your favourite cheese?
Jay: Grand Creme, it's really rich and creamy and delicious
Chris: I guess I have to say one of the English ones because I'm English [Cheese Magic also always hires boys with cute accents]
Jason: Whisky Cheddar [it was something like this... I must ask in person!]

Since the cheese hunks were not as forthcoming as had been hoped...conspirationaly silent if you will...CBMMN also interviewed the workers at My Market Bakery, Cheese Magic's sister store.

CBMNN: The cheese hunks are trying to pretend they don't know they're babes. What are they really like? Do they walk around being all "oh I'm so hot I'm such a celebrity" all the time
Jess: no not at all, they're not what people think they are, they're really cool and think the whole thing is funny
Jocelyn: Jay's my boyfriend and he's not like that at all.

CBMNN: Do they get hit on all the time?
Jess: Well yeah, mostly by older ladies though which is weird. I don't really get what that's all about.

CBMNN: Everyone denies that there is a policy on only hiring cuteboys, what is this conspiracy of silence?
Jess: Well there is no official policy. But when I applied to work there they said they didn't need anyone. Then they hired another boy soon thereafter. It's kind of just something no one talks about.

*There are two other hunks
**Cheese Magic 182 Baldwin st. @ Kensington ave


Jennifer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jennifer said...

sorry i deleted that comment by accident. meant to say very cute! didn't know about cheese magic but even if i did, i'd be too nervous to go in. damn you good-looking boys!! ;)

Anonymous said...

Your site has won a Blog of the Day Award (BOTDA)

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Thank you,

Bill Austin

SARAHSPY said...

i am very ready for you to spotlight brooklyn's equivalent of these boys so i can give them my business card.

Kaela said...

cheese and cute boys -- two of my favorite things in one entry! now, if i could only find my way to canada...

Anonymous said...

ok Marie, you win with your cheese hunks!
all my babes are shmehs. sob story land. when will one of your cute boys be my new boyfriend?

xoxo said...

lol this is the best blog ever!
i love cute boys
hot boys are always trouble
cute boys are best!

sad said...

Cheese Magic was just shut down! I can only assume it was because you exposed their cute-boys-only hiring policy. And what about the Cheese hunks? They've lost their identity! Won't anyone please think of the cheese hunks?

gringogidget said...

I have to laugh at this. My friend and I have our favourites and we always spend extra time asking for stuff. Hilarious!!!

Anonymous said...


brooke (also speaking on the behalf of maria) said...

How many women picked up a cheese magic boy successfully from a missed connections post?

How many women stole them away from cheese magic and made them retire to a life of love and leisure?


laur said...

make that 3 stolen boys! not from missed connections though.

Beth said...

I visited Toronto from Halifax, all the while telling my brother about the magic of Cheese Magic wanting to see it for myself. After talking about it so much, he put a bag over my head a dragged me down to Kensington Market and Cheese Magic to surprise me. HOWEVER, instead of being surrounded by Cheese Hunks, the only person working was an asian lady.

Can someone PLEASE explain the disappointment of my life to me so I can better understand my misfortune?

Anonymous said...

anyone think that bakery girl is still dating that cheese magic boy? He's my favourite.

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internet marketing los angeles said...

Jay is for sure my favorite Cheese Hunk. Cute guys and cheese? I think that's what heaven is like!

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