Sunday, November 15, 2009

Eric, Arizona

Submitted by anonymous: "this boy is eric. eric makes me so nervous that every time i see him, i lie to myself and say that he doesn't remember me from the only time we ever talked at a (read: drunken) party. i do that because i have made up a persona so perfect about him that i refuse to break it by actually getting to know him. It's better that way."

Ya good call. That white guy fro could go either way. E.g. cool i like the modern rock and\or roll music on the one hand, "look at me it's zany eric with all the seinfeld quotes" on the other.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Bobby from Bobby submitted via Bobby's email

So this is Bobby. At first you may think there is something weird going on with his face but I think it's just that the headband is unaturally furrowing his brow making him look like an angry pho-eating cartoon character who's evil power is to eat all your noodles and meat and only leave you the broth and the MSG. But if we ignore the furrowing, the headband, and the clothing, he's actually a good-looking young gentleman.

Also this picture is funny: "no credit cards, only cash" it's like the perfect metaphor for Bobby, I bet.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Mushroom Dude, Chicago

Submitted by Philippe: "This is the Mushroom dude at the local Farmers' Market in Chicago"

Wait so is he the dude who sells eating mushrooms to the bourgeoisie? Or is he the guy who skulks around whispering "hashish, marijuana, shrooms" to all the people who look like people of ill repute* coughmecough. He looks like he could go either way.

*does this mean prostitute? I hope not. I just meant people with a general air of mank.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Drew + Friend, Glorious Canada

Submitted by Emily: This boy is my highschool crush. The first one was taken his last year of highschool (2 or 3 years ago) and the second one is more recent. Notice the great additions in the second picture? The subtle beard scruff, and cute toque. To die for.(....I have him on facebook, haha). To this day I have not gotten over this crush, and would give anything for an exuse to talk to him, and for him to have to reply, hahaha.

I don't know...I think he looks better without the beard. I don't like the shape of that beard it's too, on his neck. My friend met this guy the other night who had had all his facial hair laser removed to keep a look of eternal youth, he was gay obviously and apparently a little crazy but...maybe this could be a new trend for straights with extra disposable income?

I was talking with this same friend and we were comparing style of different cities and countries. He was all bla bla bla NY is the best because he had lived in NY. And then I was like, people in Toronto have kind of good style sometimes? And he was like "all the have is toques. That's their style. Toques*." Ya. touche I guess.

Anyways. So from what I gather Emily wants this guy to know that she submitted him so that they can finally have their long lost love? So I'm going to put an Oprah-like pedophile watch out to all you people except instead of looking for a pedophile so we can arrest him, we are looking for this guy somewhere in Canada (Toronto?) and telling him he's on this website so we can looove connection him. Got that? Everyone look outside your windooows....Now!

*ps american: toque means hats like that. i think you call them beanies or something else equally puh-thetic?

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Dusty, America

Submitted by Elizabeth: "I'm submitting a photo of my dear husband, Dusty--I call him my Dustbunny. He is the quiet, musician type but with a great sense of humor [...blablabla I have the best husband -ed.]"

I'm sold. Totally babe. Though in this picture, if he wasn't wearing his plaid shirt and leather jacket he could be mistaken for an entirely different character a la Gummo.

Sidenote: Americans! What's wrong with you?!?!?!?!? Why don't you tell me where you're from? That's what Americans do. If you ask an American abroad where they're from they won't say "America" like the humble Pakistanis and Canadians. No they'll say Huntingon, or Hoosierville, or whatever other fucking place they come from and assume you know where that is. That's the spirit of America we're all looking for.

Update: Brandon (next post) is from Nashville

Monday, October 12, 2009

Brandon, America

Submitted by Amanda: "Hi. I am submitting a picture (actually two) of a cute boy. I have to admit that he is my husband. Is that breaking a rule of some sort? I am sure it is, I should have just lied. I couldn't decide which one of these pictures is better, so I thought I'd leave it up to your editorial expertise. In the second one, he is standing in our motley backyard drinking a cup of coffee, and in the first he's in our shitty hotel room bathroom in Vegas after 3 days of camping. For some reason his nose looks a little bigger in that picture than normal.

Anyway, his name is Brandon, he enjoys nachos, taking pictures, voting for Ralph Nader and being cheap. "

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Mark, Middle America

Submitted by Juli Gdsngds (probably real name)

This is one of the Jonas Brothers right? Wow he looks so down to earth. Those tiger beat profiles weren't lying! I mean...I read the New York Times...only.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Party on Dudues [sic] !!!!!!

Hey dudes. I am on a small hiatus until next week. I just moved to a new country\city and i'm still at the stage where I'm intimidated to order food so am going hungry, which is great and everything cause I am skinny but shitty becuase all I get to eat are water crackers bought from the friendly indian man at the convenience store (he won't judge me, I bet!).

I have a ton of your cutes in my inbox I will post them soon once I get up and at them and have a home, etc.

In the mean time please be inspired by these dancing waving rockstars and "party on" "dudes".

Friday, September 25, 2009

Fernando, LA via Mexico

Submitted by Renee: "This is my friend Fernando. He's from LA via Mexico but sadly he'll be moving to NYC soon, breaking the hearts of girls all over SoCal. Not only is he one of the most awesome and genuine people I know, he is the only guy who has made out with three girls in my circle of very close friends and we still love him the same."

Pictures like this remind me that I am bound for a life of mediocrity because I can't enjoy things that are too good. Like sometimes I can't watch 30 Rock because I get too jealous of Tina Fey for being funnier than me. Or I can't go to concerts that are too awesome because I get sad that I am not in the band and that I do not, in fact, "rock". In the end, I just end up watching real housewives of NJ so I can feel good about myself.

Similarly, looking at this picture just makes me sad. When I got it I felt a distinct sinking in my heart and then I went and made a sandwich (it was lunch time and I was planning on making a sandwich anyways...but still).

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Zach, L.A.

Submitted by Bridget: "This is my friend Zach. He lives in LA. He is the cutest boy ever. Although we are super good friends and he has a gorgeous and awesome girlfriend, we did make out once at a party when we were in college. He doesn't make me nervous, but he used to!!!!"

As someone who has never been to L.A. this seems like the quintessential L.A. person to me. It's not his long curly blond hair, or his surfer tan or the fact that he makes American Apparel look like "club wear" instead of house party or barfing in the bushes wear. It's more this L.A. androgynous thing he has going...which is not like NY androgynous where people look like sexless rectangular robot aliens...L.A. androgynous is like a drawing by a little kid learning to draw who doesn't realize that you only put those six lines for eyelashes on the girl drawings and that the boys get two circles and three line bicycles instead. But I guess that "poorly drawn" quality is an L.A. trademark (see: boobs, noses, brow lines)

p.s. "gorgeous and awesome girlfriend" booooring. Although I like it in the context of having made out with really is like The Hills over there!!!!!!! Jealous.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Jurgen, Paris via Munich via the past

Submitted by Jurgen, photo by Oliviero Toscani, 1979. Suit by Guy Dormeuil.

I had the honour of exhibiting with Jurgen Ostarhild this week, and he sent me in this picture to prove that he was once a cute boy himself. Thanks to all of you who flew in from your respective countries to see the show. As I was not there for most of it I will only assume that this is what you did. Also that you are invisible elves and that's why no one saw you as the gallery was slowly but surely inundated with crickets.

While we were setting up Jurgen fell from a ladder and hit his head on the wall. There were a few terrifying seconds where he lay motionless on the ground and we all thought that maybe he was dead or broken. But then, he rose again, like an eccentric silver-haired german phoenix from the ashes, that or Jesus.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

So Fun Event for Winners!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh this poor teen British boy. All he wanted to do was travel to Paris with his slightly post-pubescent girlfriend and pass himself off as a twenty-something hipster. Now look at him, he
is the unwitting poster boy for everything I have done, and ever will do.

On that note. I am part of a so fun event this Friday and Saturday in Paris. Although not many of you "live" in "paris" I will post it anyways to show what a Paris winner I am. Also maybe one day some French people learn English , decide to find out who is the top winner in Paris (maybe it is them? they will ask themselves), Google "Paris + Winner" then see that, oh no it is not they who hold that spot. It is I. I!

I am just going to post the text from the Facebook event now because I am also a winner of cut and paste:

Location:Door Studios, 9_9 bis Lediguieres, Paris, France
Time:12:00PM Friday, September 18th

As part of the Paris-wide beauty event, les Rives de la Beauté, Door Studios is opening its doors to a selection of exhibitions and workshops to examine the link between beauty and image.

-Photo projections by Jurgen Ostarhild and Marie Richer
-Exhibit of selected works by Jens Stuart
-Beauty workshop by Louise Wittlich


Jurgen Ostarhild

Jens Stuart

Louise Wittlich

Door Studios

Rives de la Beaute

Monday, September 14, 2009

Nick, Australia

Submitted by Hayley: "This is my bestest friend in the whole wide world, Nicholas. Apart from being ridiculously adorable, he has mad skillz in everything he tries - especially photography and all things musical. He moved to Melbourne a few months ago, much to my chagrin. I miss his orsumness."

Not a very good best friend then is he? JK (funny!) I'm sure he's orsum. I can't really see his face though I'll be honest. But considering that today in my mailbox I had the choice between Nick and a picture of a nude obese man I chose the latter, thought better of it, then chose the former.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Barny, Philipines via France

Submitted by Carla: "This is Barny, I met him when he came to the Philippines for an internship (he's French, but im Filipino) and he is seriously THE most good looking man i have ever seen EVER "

I agree that this person is handsome in the face. But he looks like a typical French douchebag to me. I'm sorry. I was walking around the 16th in Paris yesterday (aka douchebagvilleland) and now I'm traumatized by people like this 4 EV R.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Todd, America

Submitted by anon. "This is my guy friend that i thought i was in love with but i'm not (uhhh...) and he's weird but beautiful and fun."

I don't think we have to state the obvious with this picture. The obvious not stated being that this guy looks mentally retarded. We'll have to trust anon that he's beautiful because it's impossible to tell. But what's more beautiful than a guy with a sense of humour, a sense of humour that includes imitating retarded people?

Except in the case that he's actually always like that...which is just super too!

Monday, September 7, 2009

Fabien\Rabbit, Paris

Here are some pictures from this totally wild and crazy photoshoot I did in the rain with the always loveable and old enough to have been your teen dad, Fabien Fabre. You are probably just totally wilded and crazied out by our wildiness and crazyiness.

The photos actually tell a story:

-First it is raining and the rabbit is really sad about his leather bag getting wet (the one he acquired in a David and Goliath battle against a cow which he won by hopping on its head until it went cuuhrazy and then rolling it up in a carpet and throwing it off a bridge).

-Then the rabbit gets attacked by flying pieces of wood (the spirits of the cow's clam friends from under the sea, avenging his death).

-He escapes [not pictured...escape too sneaky to capture].

-Then it stops raining but he still sits there looking sad with his umbrella inside-out cause someone thought it would be cute to lift him up by the ears without realizing that doing that makes bunnies go retarded.

Fabien will be releasing his vinyl ep in October, featuring blablabla ba bla + me in the choir + the other people in the choir (which includes me). I'm about 95% sure that the only reason I was included in the choir was so I would publicize it free...but you know what? I'm ok with that. How else will I share my voice drownded (sic) out by many other voices with the world? Ein? You tell me.

If you are in Paris-town the release will be September 21st in the evening time at Les Disquaires in the 11th. Though since most of you are in oonst-versbalkat and poland-land and iraq-land and united land of american states, you will only be able to attend in spirit :( but also :) (yay spirit! not just for cheerleaders anymore!)

Friday, September 4, 2009

Rafael, Brazil

Submitted by Galatea: " I don't know him too well, just through castings (were both in the same modeling agency) he speaks a little bit of english, seems very nice- was looking through his ipod and thought it was kinda funny to see names like jack johnson, soulja boy, counting crows and jarule. now im understanding where all these brazilian models learn their english"

Let me say that, strictly speaking, I don't consider male models "cute". But that being said, I won't kick them out of = metaphorical bed.

Also, I'm feeling pretty happy about the fact that Soulja Boy is the ESL teacher for this new generation of male models. Now I can feel safe knowing that when I ask my international lovers to "supah man dat ho" (while referring to my self in the third person) and they will know what I'm talkin' 'bout.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Will, Paris

Will works at the Vans store. Does anyone know what Vans' thing is now? Are they a skateboard brand or are they capitalizing on neo-grunge\neo-hippie thing. Or are they going the way of Roxy by Quicksilver and other brands that were cool to me in my youth so many years ago. This salesperson seems to have all bases covered in any case.

Speaking of how I now refer to my youth in the past tense, this l'il guy seemed scared of me. Not in the OMG you're so babe way, but in the agh you're an old monster trying to steal my youth via your olde tyme magical picture box way.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Fabien, Paris

I haven't been out for a full day of picture taking in forever but I'm leaving Paris soon so I figured I should get a few more Franches for the road. I was scared that people were going to be jerks to me though, because I had forgotten if I thought that humanity was essentially good or essentially evil (I was leaning towards evil).

The first boy I fell upon was this intimidating looking character. However, after attempting to act aloof for exactly 3 seconds Fabien turned into a loveable chatterbox who launched into a monologue that went a little like "You're really cool eh? and brave! Cool and brave. Do you think people in Paris are jerks? They probably don't even get you right? They probably don't even understand that you're like this totally cool girl because they're so not cool here." OMG that's so true! All of that. I am so cool and brave and the best!!!!! I forgot for always somehow.

Fabien is a musician\fashioney person, but I think that his real calling is building a Tony Robbins-style empire. One that would encourage all the nerdy white girls into believing that they really are as great as their moms say they are.

Monday, August 31, 2009

David, Paris

I interrupted David's lunch by the city hall to take his picture. After the first few shots he decided he wanted to spike his hair and remove his tupperware from the picture. Personally I prefer the first shot, especially the sensible!

Also, just an aside, David kept referring to me in the formal "vous" which made me feel like an old. Why does everyone think I'm thirty when I'm only late 20s?!!??! God.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Christian, Hawaii

Submitted by Paige* : "This is Christian, he lives in Hawaii, and he likes to spearfish LOL"

Have you ever been to one of those international cultures of the world shows where you are promised lots of delicious free samples but instead what you get is the most attractive representative each country could find doing something innoffensively "cultural" e.g. dancing a dance and handing out hard candy (India) or wearing a tasteful black scarf and then cutting off your hand if you try to take a free sample (Saudi Arabia)?

Well, this is Hawaii's pick for next year's show. He will be spear fishing out of a kiddie pool then handing out shell necklaces to all the pretty ladies of the world...if they promise to visit...BEAUTIFUL HAWAII...wink.

*Thanks a lot "Paige" or should I say "Hawaiian ministry of tourism"?Puh.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Sassy (not magazine), Paris

I don't want to be a racialist or a gayist. But if I had to make up a list of people most likely to sass me for no reason other than to hurt my feelings, it would be this guy.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Luc, Le Pop-In

You know, I hate being a jerk. Nay. I love being a jerk, but more in the making fun of people as they are walking away way, not in a public forum like this. (Even though insulting someone over internet is like writing an insult in a bottle and throwing it into the ocean, but anyways.

It is hard to not fall into being a jerkstore, because my first reaction to almost all the pictures are to make fun of them in my head. Maybe it comes from years of training (at least 2yrs) looking at Facebook profiles in my underpants and yelling "puthetic!" at the computer screen, while eating fishsticks and smoking scavenged cigarettes my roomate has foolishly failed to smoke down to the bottom.

I am just going to say one mean thing about this guy though. He looks like he learned what a cool outfit looks like via a text-only document, and then proceeded to buy the absolute worst version of each thing listed. There I said it. But I like skinnies. And boy is he skinny!!!!!

Monday, August 24, 2009

Vince, Philippines

Submitted by Anon. : " This is Vince--half-Canadian, half-Chinese. He's pretty much perfect. He plays for the national baseball team, for his school's volleyball varsity, he's charming, he's a leader, he plays the drums and he's a straight-A student. Oh, and if it wasn't obvious enough, he's gorgeous."

OMG! It's Filipino Archie Andrews!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Wangstaz, San Diego via Los Angeles

Submitted by Anon: Took photos of these three friends from L.A. Mcoy (left), Mark (middle) and Ron (right) in San Diego. They seemed to be having a geat time, and stole a snapshot of the friends being plane (sic) crazy.

Did any of you guys accidentally see that terrible movie Gran Torino? When I watched it all I kept thinking was "yeah right, as if there is such thing as these scary asian gangs. way to take some half-assed stand against racism. lame" then I made chinky eyes with my friends and we laughed the night away.

The worst thing an american-asian has ever done to me is crowd me on the sidewalk for no reason. Or else counterfeit Canadian money in his dorm room bathtub. Or else run a massive pot-growing operation from his parents' suburban home with positive final outcomes for everybody. ;)

But if we ignore the wholesome happy smiles and the sassy pout the guy in the back is giving,...these L.A. asians look like real gangstaz! Maybe they really do exist! Like Tinkerbell or some drug that if you eat it you get skinny but still get to keep your teeth (sigh, if only)

Are all your asians like this L.A.? Is that why you are city of midwestern dreams?

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Ben, At a pajama electro party in the woods

Submitted by Anonymous: "This is Ben. He's alternative, smart, funny, horribly sarcastic, and one of the nicest people I've ever known. He thinks he's really shoddy, but he so isn't. I wish I could tell him that, but alas..."

What do you mean shoddy? Like his joints don't bend properly? And if so...when you say he so isn't...does this mean you have evidence that his joints do in fact move with average to above average fluidity and speed? Because that's really important in a relationship*.

*This sentence meant to be absurd not sexual

Monday, August 17, 2009

Male Model Interview: Fred D.

You may remember Fred from from that amazing captioned photo editorial a few weeks ago. That actually was supposed to be an interview but then I didn't have a pen or paper or any questions prepared. So here is the interview that we did via facebook (I don't know why I even try to do things not via internet). It's strength, as per usual, lies in its ESLiness.

CBMMN: Hey Fred want to answer these interview questions?

Fred: Oui oui pas de soucis Mary ;) [not my name but whatever]

CBMMN: What companies have you modeled for?

Fred: I modeled for SNCF, Palais De Tokyo, M&M's, M'T Dents, O2, Shoes Up magazine, Amusement magazine, les magasins Courir, WWF, WAD, Ligue contre le cancer...

CBMMN: How does it feel to be a FAMOUS MALE MODEL?

Fred: Feel Gooooooood :)


Fred: Not really i'm too much kinda atypical for them ;) but if you wanna introduce some to me, that's sounds good haha

CBMMN: Remember when we did that so fun photo shoot?

Fred: Of course yeah, even my shoes when they turned grey remember this?

CBMMN: yes?
CBMMN: Anyways, that was fun right?

Fred: Obviously, and especially when people were looking at me like wtf

CBMMN: Ya they don't even know you.
CBMMN: Has anyone ever told you you look like someone [cause i think you look like Steve Urquelle which is when Steve Urkell drinks the magic potion and becomes hot and cool]*?

Fred: Every fuckin day lol till now I look like almost 50 different people apprently by the people. However I appreciate your compliment thanks. Keep in touch for something one day :)

CBMMN: Ya fun an thank you. As for you being too much atypical, I'm sure the teens of the world will disagree.

*This part Fred tried to erase when he replied. Nice try! That was my best joke!

For another male model interview click here
For another ESL interview click here

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Gay Boyfriend on a Pedestal, Paris

I remember once when I was reading a women's magazine as a teen...or maybe a teen magazine as a child, there was a famous actress saying how she had slept with too many people when she was young and now she was grossed out.

At the time I thought it was a ploy which was intended to make me "get Jesusy with it" (like the hit song by top recording artist Will Smith). But in retrospect I should have listened to the wisdom that only someone famous in an unrelated field to the one they are talking about can have. Because now all I want is a nice gay boyfriend who will never want to have sex (with me), ever.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Raul, Florence via Spain

Submitted by Alice: "This is a super cute/hot spanish guy my friend and I met in Florence, Italy while we were on a school trip (we're from Milano...). I think it was the first time a girl would ask him to take a picture because he was sooo embarassed (and so were we )"

God why do euro teens always look so alternative? Even though this guy is clearly a normal, he's wearing his university t-shirt for example, he still looks like he is in that hit new band the Beatles.

Why don't our normals look like alts? If they did I could have been spared from years of ill-fitting vintage purchases, drug-use and parties\apartments in dank basements

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

James, Berkeley

Submitted by Adrienne: "James can be found looking cute while reading books, programming,or proudly showing off his Caulifower Ears ( from years of competitive wrestling. So cute."

When I first saw this picture I was like "woah babe!" cause I'm Canadian so I get impressed by any American place that was cool once and I saw that movie Berkeley in the 60's. Then I saw the blue hoodie and years of American Apparel advertising on all my favourite websites made me have a Pavlovian reaction.

But I don't know where competitive wrestling fits into my neatly defined categories of human doesn't sound very alternative\indie rock\tektonique. And I haven't read that wikipedia definition yet but the term sounds gross rather than cute.

Upon third reflection I realized that I can't really tell what James looks like from this picture because of the face covering pose. He could either be a cauliflower eared James Franco or a weird crooked face. Ultimately, I feel confused and need a nap now.

P.S. I hope this isn't a sneaky trick to get linked and Cauliflower Ears is just the name of a band that made its own Wikipedia page. Too lazy to check though.

Update: I read the Wikipedia page. Cauliflower ears = Probably the reason for that hoodie...sowwy :(

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Rhian, Washington

Submitted by Christina: "This is Rhian (said like Ryan) and he is the cutest boy I have ever laid eyes on. He is so friendly despite his devastating good-looks. He lives in Olympia, Washington and he works at the local Farmer's Market selling jam. Adorable amirite?"

I wish boys liked girls who worked at some vaguely left wing job as much as girls like boys who do. Life would be so much more of a relax where you had tons of spare time to cuddle furry lil animals and practice your picture face

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Friendies, At the Park (ps names and location plz next time)

Submitted by Paige: "I love snapping pictures of cute boys (especially these two gentlemen!) But they never cease to make me feel awkward about asking for their picture! Luckily the guy on the right tried to ease the awkwardness by pretending to photograph me.. photographing him. Hahaha."

Wow so post-modern. The picture that goes on and on taking pictures of itself until everyone gets bored now. Do you think people are going to stop wanting to take pictures of themselves at parties\outdoor music festivals soon? We're getting old (in internet years) friends. Maybe we shoudl catch on to what the youth are doing. Maybe they are doing something else that will make them internet millionaires just in time for their drug experiment years.

And then us taking pictures of eachother will be to them like...when our older managers at the coffee shop still care about print media and we all lol and lol in the back room while spraying whipped cream into our mouths from the container in a gluttonous rather than sexual way.

Also where do you think this picture was taken? What do you think their names are? What local celebrities do they look like to you?

Monday, August 3, 2009

Edward, Australia

Submitted by "His name is Edward but I think it should be something more like Luc with a C. I don't even know if he's actually cool or interesting or mysterious at all, but oh my god what soulful cheekbones."

The only thing that makes someone not mysterious is actually talking to them or trying to get information about them. You're better off looking at their totally natural, looking-over-the-shoulder-while-wind-blows-softly-through-their-hair photos and imagining that they have a bunch of super cool projects that you don't know about.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Feeling Scared, Paris

"oh man, I'm all alone in this sea of gays...Feeling scared. Don't know what to do with my face. Maybe I should clench my jaw muscles. Maybe I should pretend i'm looking at something important in the distance. Where should I put my hands...behind my back? No...too fruity...I can't look happy or people will think I'm a gay and gay at me. I can't look to angry or they will start to pick on me. Ohgod. Why did I mouth off to constable Gaudrault last week...Play it cool it. cool"

I can't believe I forgot to post this picture!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Awkward straight cops feeling scared are one of the highlights of Pride!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Roman Rugby Team, Italy

Submitted by Jessica : "It was June, high Rugby season, and the Roman Rugby team was out in full force. My best friend and I were eating at a tiny restaurant on a side street near the Piazza di Spagna. I left to go to the restroom, and when I came back she was practically in tears, trying to tell me and show me the pictures of what I'd just missed. Frantically, I leaned over the table to see them walking down the street, 8 perfect asses disappearing into the crowds..."

I feel like I am attracted to these people only on some theoretical, cultural vacuum level. But that in real life I would hate them in the personality. Especially if they spoke English, then I would probably hate crime them (e.g. toilet paper their cars (with 1-ply (because I'm poor but still like to have a good time))).

Plus you just know they hang out with Berlusconi at his sexy statuatory rape parties.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Sam & Friends, Manchester

Submitted by Emma: "Look at this cute boy (the middle one). he is 31 or something, not a tween. i used to work at a vegan grocery store with him in manchester and everyone had to wear a denim apron, we all looked like dicks. But Sam is the cutest! Cutey, cute, cute."

Ya he looks cute. Reminds me of those days where all you wanted was the guy who worked at the vegan food shoppe\luxury cheese store because you knew he was probably smart about things that were important but boring for you, like philosophy and\or veganism.

But how much can we really trust this picture? Vegans are tricky! Always tricking us with their meat flavoured patties and buttery spreads! And here he is clearly tricking us by using these other "urban grocers" to make himself look relatively more attractive.

Example, a lizard is usually considered to fall on the cuteness scale between moderately cute to creepy. Look at this guy, not much going for him in the cute department, except maybe his big eyes and dormant Fern Gully connotations for us olds.

But look how cute he gets once he is joined by his friends, Disgusting Live Chick Embryo and Frat Party Joker Goat:

See...just like I said...tricky.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Aidan, Middle-America

Submitted by Lynne: " went to this bbq dinner with my friend and I saw this guy who I was told was a model for American Apparel so I asked my friend to take a pic with him"

Man being a model for American Apparel is the new being chosen to dance on American bandstand.

It's really nice how he agreed to take a picture with that withered ghoul...I hope he was nice about it and not just doing it so that he could have an ironic Facebook picture later and change his status to "looves withered ghouls...not! High five! \[] (thumbs up emoticon)"

p.s. is this guy gay or is he gay?

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Krazy Teenz, Perth

Submitted by Lisa: "Hellloooo. Im Lisa. I ran up to these boys & asked for their picture, they stared & said nothing, I said please you're cute, they said okkaaaaay, I took the photo and walked away quickly. I want to marry the guy on the right, then divorce him and marry the guy on the left."

Oh man I totally know that awkward "okkaaaay". It comes from them feeling scared that their carefully created hairstyles and cool, fry-eating facades are going to erode as soon as they have to talk. And from loving you, probably.

And what about middle teen? You don't want to marry him? You could eat french fries in bed and drink coca cola all day long, and when you get accidentally teen pregnant by skinny dipping in the same swimming pool (it can happen!) and become a teen mom you can gel your baby's hair into new and even zanier hairstyles!

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Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Totally Modern Band, Brooklyn

Submitted by Georgia: "The singer in my band is now living in Brooklyn with a HIVE of cute boys! And two of them are brothers...squeee!!! I have attached pictures of them in the music room. Unfortuately I am in the pictures too but I look forward to being scribbled out, and rightly so. "

That's weird, I don't see a woman in this picture. All I see is a totally modern experimental music box which means that I probably like this band now.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Edgar, New Jeezy via Colombia

Submitted by Amanda : "This is Edgar [roll your r's!] he's from Colombia via New Jersey. He works on the boardwalk and we stalked him for three days straight. One day we told him we'd meet him at midnight and we didn't...and he was sad. The next day we were leaving and we'll never forget him."

OMG I love this picture sooooooooo much it brings a tear to my eye. And it's not because I just drank half a bottle of wine by myself while listening to "the greatest love of all" on replay. You know why it is the tearing of eye? Cause it keeps it real!!!! Look at how real everyone is keeping it! I couldn't even draw dragons on their faces!

You know what is not keeping it real, friends?

1-Sending pictures of really young t(w)eens and then saying they are 20. When you're an old like me you can tell the difference.

2-Sending pictures of yourself semi-nude and writing messages like "lol this is this cyut guy everyone loves him at the high school". When you're an old (in internet years) this also is an obvious lie

3-Sending pictures of your boyfriend's band who has less than 100 listens on Myspace and writing "omg this is a so good band that everyone is loving it to the max!" a) no they're not b)my blog won't make them famous. Srsly. Totem pole---->bottom.