Tuesday, January 6, 2009

HORRIBLE MEMORIES: 2008

(above: Me being awkward at a party if I were a teen boy...and what a boy!)

I know all the other top blogs did their lists a few days ago but I was too busy reading them and then sloooowly getting the idea to do one: Horrible Memories 2008!!!!!!!!! Why does it feel sort of awesome to remember what an idiot you were? Maybe it's because you think that that if you admit it, you will never do anything like it again...how foolish of you (me).

-Spraining my ankle at a concert while trying to relive my teen years and dancing with the youth. Accusing someone of maliciously pushing me and verbally abusing her though I new secretly that I had fallen on my own and was only trying to pawn off my shame.

-Telling an attractive worker at a vintage store that I was "up all night" and because a lack of nuance in my choice of French words, accidentally implying that I was up all night DOING it. He subseequently making a disgusted face. (I was actually trying to say that I had had insomnia because I had seen a movie about terrorists and it was scawy!)

-Going home with someone really embarassing, drunkenly waving goodbye to everyone I know and calling attention to myself, living in shame forever. (Not to be confused with similar 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007 memories)

-Writing ex-boyfriend a "birthday" e-card saying I was lonely and that, while I was happy that he had found himself a new girlfriend, feared I would be alone forever. Possibly including a winky smiley in said e-card ;)

-Dating two boys at once. Not being called by two boys at once.

-Going on a date with someone too good looking for me so then telling several non-stories, the conclusion of which were that people thought I was hot (to TRICK him)...then getting called out on it: "wow you keep mentioning how attractive you are".

-All other memories carrying over from as early as the mid 80s that continue do haunt me (I'm looking at you, camouflage phase)

-Doing too many alcohols and drugs. Getting locked out of the house. Attempting to sleep outside because too lazy to get keys from a friend's house. Crying. Getting the idea to sneak the neighbours ladder to climb into my window. Breaking his fence. Getting caught. Getting sued. Fleeing the country!!!! Wahahahah!!! Wait that's a WINNER memory!!!!!!!!!!

WINNER IN '09!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7 comments:

Crusoe in England said...

laughed a lot with this one, i just like your self-deprecating humor! so you take pics of cute guys? interesting. but girl, don´t let them see you sweat: put on your best sophisticated smile and pretend you are too intellectual and secretly sexy for them! them f___ers like the chase, unfortunately. and they abound thank god, so a new one (like the jackpot) is always around the corner
best luck in 09!

Anonymous said...

haha my FIRST MEMORY OF 2009 was falling down! In front of cool people and a cute boy! I was like a turtle, I was stuck on my back waving my arms and legs until I finally got up and ran and hid in the corner. SO BAD.

Geneviève said...

reality check: did you really get sued? you can write that one to me in an e-mail so as to not stain your impeccable reputation (in case you didn't actually get sued, and that was all for your CBMMN persona)... Thanks for the published photo, P.S....

Kitsch said...

that was hilarious!!! it makes me realize that I must live the most boring life ever! as embarrassing as some of these may have been at least you'll have funny stories to tell your grandchildren!

khookie said...

Sounds like your 2008 was great fun :P Hope 2009 is filled with many more of those antics!

Y&E said...

hahahahaha spandex camouflage overalls!!!!
hahahahahaah

cuteboysmakemenervous said...

ok fuckface, i never actually wore those. and they weren't spandex they were denim-spandex.

waleva mang.