Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Hijinxs, Nanaimo, B.C.


Submitted by Sarah: After getting extremely drunk I found myself downtown at a bar sans wallet. We tried to convince the bouncer to let me in but I look too young. In my drunken stupour I climbed the fence and landed in thepatio of the bar. As I stumbled over the fence, the voices of two angels told me I was their hero for my climbing ways. I asked for their picture trying to drunkenly explain my quest to send it into my FAV. blog. All that managed to come out was that they made me nervous... I later got kicked out of the bar and never even got their names.. Sigh.

I am on a constant quest to expand my google search ranking power. So far I dominate "cute boys" "cute boys canada" "cute boys europe" and "cute boys UK" narrowly beating out the "cute boys australian nude male art" website for the top spot (smell that? it's called sucess).

So I am going to write the word Nanaimo a bunch of times at the end of this post because having the same word written over and over used to be how you won at internet searches before Google and maybe it still secretly works.

Then if these anonymous boys are feeling bored one day they might try to google search "cute boys nanaimo" and find themselves. Then all three of you will FALL IN LOVE and have an unconventional three-person relationship and make Nanaimo bars and say grace before eating them where you praise the lord for the internet and the glorious motherland.

You could also go to the same bar again with a disguise and they will probably be there because people like going where everyone knows their name. This is a known fact, a fact that has even been turned into a hit song.

Nanaimo Nanaimo Nanaimo Nanaimo Nanaimo Nanaimo Nanaimo Nanaimo Nanaimo Nanaimo
*Update: "cute boys nanaimo" google dominance now official

19 comments:

Dee said...

Are you kidding me? I could actually find these cute boys in a bar in a place that's about 1 hour away from where I live? Before today, I found no reason to go to Nanaimo, but now it's on my list. Also, it's a fun word to say. Nanaimo. Nanaimo.

Julia said...

that second dude is seriously so cute!!

Anonymous said...

mmm...nanaimo bars

Jeff said...

Dang if I was 6 years younger that could be me

leila wylie said...

Cute boys are cute

Anonymous said...

Your google dominance of 'cute boys nanaimo'is followed by Nanaimo Gay Personals. Perhaps all the cute boys in Nanaimo enjoy long walks on the beach and sausage parties.

Christine! said...

I dont know if this will make you super thrilled but you're also the first result for "cute boys delaware"


not just randomly checking...my friend sent a picture in and i wasnt sure what she put as the location but huzzah delaware it is. i know it's not a whole country but it IS the first state!!!

Anonymous said...

They look like the typical hipster-type asshole from Brooklyn to me.

Anonymous said...

jackpot. must drive to bc now.

Anonymous said...

HAHA this is funny to see Nathan (second picture) posted here. True he is a hipster but also a great bartender and can be found working at Level Two Night Club! ;)

cuteboysmakemenervous said...

omg my cute boys nanaimo google plan worked!!!!!!!!!!!!! how is the unconventional three person relationship going?

Rachel said...

my cousin (1st pic) isn't cute lol my family doesnt know how to be cute, we're gorgeous!! rofl
but seriously wtf

Anonymous said...

LOL @ JAMES

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHA JAMES FTW.

Anonymous said...

J-james? HAHAHA! Oh man...

If you like him you'd like his Band mates ;)
Miles Black and the Pearly Whites
and Handsome and the Horribles
another thing you may wish to google.

Anonymous said...

oh, Nathan. This is hilarious.

Nick M said...

Seriously? James? He looks like Noel Fielding. But the lame version. And he drums like a panzy, too.

Anonymous said...

The second one named nathan ness is actually a dirt-bag. he has a 5 year old son whom he has never paid child support for or even pitched in to help raise him because he was too busy getting high and drunk almost every night.he is also a serial cheater so look out. if you still think he is cute he lives in Vancouver now still hanging around trying to be a hipster!

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