Monday, August 31, 2009

David, Paris

I interrupted David's lunch by the city hall to take his picture. After the first few shots he decided he wanted to spike his hair and remove his tupperware from the picture. Personally I prefer the first shot, especially the sensible!

Also, just an aside, David kept referring to me in the formal "vous" which made me feel like an old. Why does everyone think I'm thirty when I'm only late 20s?!!??! God.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Christian, Hawaii

Submitted by Paige* : "This is Christian, he lives in Hawaii, and he likes to spearfish LOL"

Have you ever been to one of those international cultures of the world shows where you are promised lots of delicious free samples but instead what you get is the most attractive representative each country could find doing something innoffensively "cultural" e.g. dancing a dance and handing out hard candy (India) or wearing a tasteful black scarf and then cutting off your hand if you try to take a free sample (Saudi Arabia)?

Well, this is Hawaii's pick for next year's show. He will be spear fishing out of a kiddie pool then handing out shell necklaces to all the pretty ladies of the world...if they promise to visit...BEAUTIFUL HAWAII...wink.

*Thanks a lot "Paige" or should I say "Hawaiian ministry of tourism"?Puh.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Sassy (not magazine), Paris

I don't want to be a racialist or a gayist. But if I had to make up a list of people most likely to sass me for no reason other than to hurt my feelings, it would be this guy.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Luc, Le Pop-In

You know, I hate being a jerk. Nay. I love being a jerk, but more in the making fun of people as they are walking away way, not in a public forum like this. (Even though insulting someone over internet is like writing an insult in a bottle and throwing it into the ocean, but anyways.

It is hard to not fall into being a jerkstore, because my first reaction to almost all the pictures are to make fun of them in my head. Maybe it comes from years of training (at least 2yrs) looking at Facebook profiles in my underpants and yelling "puthetic!" at the computer screen, while eating fishsticks and smoking scavenged cigarettes my roomate has foolishly failed to smoke down to the bottom.

I am just going to say one mean thing about this guy though. He looks like he learned what a cool outfit looks like via a text-only document, and then proceeded to buy the absolute worst version of each thing listed. There I said it. But I like skinnies. And boy is he skinny!!!!!

Monday, August 24, 2009

Vince, Philippines

Submitted by Anon. : " This is Vince--half-Canadian, half-Chinese. He's pretty much perfect. He plays for the national baseball team, for his school's volleyball varsity, he's charming, he's a leader, he plays the drums and he's a straight-A student. Oh, and if it wasn't obvious enough, he's gorgeous."

OMG! It's Filipino Archie Andrews!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Wangstaz, San Diego via Los Angeles

Submitted by Anon: Took photos of these three friends from L.A. Mcoy (left), Mark (middle) and Ron (right) in San Diego. They seemed to be having a geat time, and stole a snapshot of the friends being plane (sic) crazy.

Did any of you guys accidentally see that terrible movie Gran Torino? When I watched it all I kept thinking was "yeah right, as if there is such thing as these scary asian gangs. way to take some half-assed stand against racism. lame" then I made chinky eyes with my friends and we laughed the night away.

The worst thing an american-asian has ever done to me is crowd me on the sidewalk for no reason. Or else counterfeit Canadian money in his dorm room bathtub. Or else run a massive pot-growing operation from his parents' suburban home with positive final outcomes for everybody. ;)

But if we ignore the wholesome happy smiles and the sassy pout the guy in the back is giving,...these L.A. asians look like real gangstaz! Maybe they really do exist! Like Tinkerbell or some drug that if you eat it you get skinny but still get to keep your teeth (sigh, if only)

Are all your asians like this L.A.? Is that why you are city of midwestern dreams?

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Ben, At a pajama electro party in the woods

Submitted by Anonymous: "This is Ben. He's alternative, smart, funny, horribly sarcastic, and one of the nicest people I've ever known. He thinks he's really shoddy, but he so isn't. I wish I could tell him that, but alas..."

What do you mean shoddy? Like his joints don't bend properly? And if so...when you say he so isn't...does this mean you have evidence that his joints do in fact move with average to above average fluidity and speed? Because that's really important in a relationship*.

*This sentence meant to be absurd not sexual

Monday, August 17, 2009

Male Model Interview: Fred D.

You may remember Fred from from that amazing captioned photo editorial a few weeks ago. That actually was supposed to be an interview but then I didn't have a pen or paper or any questions prepared. So here is the interview that we did via facebook (I don't know why I even try to do things not via internet). It's strength, as per usual, lies in its ESLiness.

CBMMN: Hey Fred want to answer these interview questions?

Fred: Oui oui pas de soucis Mary ;) [not my name but whatever]

CBMMN: What companies have you modeled for?

Fred: I modeled for SNCF, Palais De Tokyo, M&M's, M'T Dents, O2, Shoes Up magazine, Amusement magazine, les magasins Courir, WWF, WAD, Ligue contre le cancer...

CBMMN: How does it feel to be a FAMOUS MALE MODEL?

Fred: Feel Gooooooood :)


Fred: Not really i'm too much kinda atypical for them ;) but if you wanna introduce some to me, that's sounds good haha

CBMMN: Remember when we did that so fun photo shoot?

Fred: Of course yeah, even my shoes when they turned grey remember this?

CBMMN: yes?
CBMMN: Anyways, that was fun right?

Fred: Obviously, and especially when people were looking at me like wtf

CBMMN: Ya they don't even know you.
CBMMN: Has anyone ever told you you look like someone [cause i think you look like Steve Urquelle which is when Steve Urkell drinks the magic potion and becomes hot and cool]*?

Fred: Every fuckin day lol till now I look like almost 50 different people apprently by the people. However I appreciate your compliment thanks. Keep in touch for something one day :)

CBMMN: Ya fun an thank you. As for you being too much atypical, I'm sure the teens of the world will disagree.

*This part Fred tried to erase when he replied. Nice try! That was my best joke!

For another male model interview click here
For another ESL interview click here

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Gay Boyfriend on a Pedestal, Paris

I remember once when I was reading a women's magazine as a teen...or maybe a teen magazine as a child, there was a famous actress saying how she had slept with too many people when she was young and now she was grossed out.

At the time I thought it was a ploy which was intended to make me "get Jesusy with it" (like the hit song by top recording artist Will Smith). But in retrospect I should have listened to the wisdom that only someone famous in an unrelated field to the one they are talking about can have. Because now all I want is a nice gay boyfriend who will never want to have sex (with me), ever.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Raul, Florence via Spain

Submitted by Alice: "This is a super cute/hot spanish guy my friend and I met in Florence, Italy while we were on a school trip (we're from Milano...). I think it was the first time a girl would ask him to take a picture because he was sooo embarassed (and so were we )"

God why do euro teens always look so alternative? Even though this guy is clearly a normal, he's wearing his university t-shirt for example, he still looks like he is in that hit new band the Beatles.

Why don't our normals look like alts? If they did I could have been spared from years of ill-fitting vintage purchases, drug-use and parties\apartments in dank basements

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

James, Berkeley

Submitted by Adrienne: "James can be found looking cute while reading books, programming,or proudly showing off his Caulifower Ears ( from years of competitive wrestling. So cute."

When I first saw this picture I was like "woah babe!" cause I'm Canadian so I get impressed by any American place that was cool once and I saw that movie Berkeley in the 60's. Then I saw the blue hoodie and years of American Apparel advertising on all my favourite websites made me have a Pavlovian reaction.

But I don't know where competitive wrestling fits into my neatly defined categories of human doesn't sound very alternative\indie rock\tektonique. And I haven't read that wikipedia definition yet but the term sounds gross rather than cute.

Upon third reflection I realized that I can't really tell what James looks like from this picture because of the face covering pose. He could either be a cauliflower eared James Franco or a weird crooked face. Ultimately, I feel confused and need a nap now.

P.S. I hope this isn't a sneaky trick to get linked and Cauliflower Ears is just the name of a band that made its own Wikipedia page. Too lazy to check though.

Update: I read the Wikipedia page. Cauliflower ears = Probably the reason for that hoodie...sowwy :(

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Rhian, Washington

Submitted by Christina: "This is Rhian (said like Ryan) and he is the cutest boy I have ever laid eyes on. He is so friendly despite his devastating good-looks. He lives in Olympia, Washington and he works at the local Farmer's Market selling jam. Adorable amirite?"

I wish boys liked girls who worked at some vaguely left wing job as much as girls like boys who do. Life would be so much more of a relax where you had tons of spare time to cuddle furry lil animals and practice your picture face

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Friendies, At the Park (ps names and location plz next time)

Submitted by Paige: "I love snapping pictures of cute boys (especially these two gentlemen!) But they never cease to make me feel awkward about asking for their picture! Luckily the guy on the right tried to ease the awkwardness by pretending to photograph me.. photographing him. Hahaha."

Wow so post-modern. The picture that goes on and on taking pictures of itself until everyone gets bored now. Do you think people are going to stop wanting to take pictures of themselves at parties\outdoor music festivals soon? We're getting old (in internet years) friends. Maybe we shoudl catch on to what the youth are doing. Maybe they are doing something else that will make them internet millionaires just in time for their drug experiment years.

And then us taking pictures of eachother will be to them like...when our older managers at the coffee shop still care about print media and we all lol and lol in the back room while spraying whipped cream into our mouths from the container in a gluttonous rather than sexual way.

Also where do you think this picture was taken? What do you think their names are? What local celebrities do they look like to you?

Monday, August 3, 2009

Edward, Australia

Submitted by "His name is Edward but I think it should be something more like Luc with a C. I don't even know if he's actually cool or interesting or mysterious at all, but oh my god what soulful cheekbones."

The only thing that makes someone not mysterious is actually talking to them or trying to get information about them. You're better off looking at their totally natural, looking-over-the-shoulder-while-wind-blows-softly-through-their-hair photos and imagining that they have a bunch of super cool projects that you don't know about.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Feeling Scared, Paris

"oh man, I'm all alone in this sea of gays...Feeling scared. Don't know what to do with my face. Maybe I should clench my jaw muscles. Maybe I should pretend i'm looking at something important in the distance. Where should I put my hands...behind my back? No...too fruity...I can't look happy or people will think I'm a gay and gay at me. I can't look to angry or they will start to pick on me. Ohgod. Why did I mouth off to constable Gaudrault last week...Play it cool it. cool"

I can't believe I forgot to post this picture!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Awkward straight cops feeling scared are one of the highlights of Pride!!!!!!!!!!!