Friday, September 25, 2009

Fernando, LA via Mexico

Submitted by Renee: "This is my friend Fernando. He's from LA via Mexico but sadly he'll be moving to NYC soon, breaking the hearts of girls all over SoCal. Not only is he one of the most awesome and genuine people I know, he is the only guy who has made out with three girls in my circle of very close friends and we still love him the same."

Pictures like this remind me that I am bound for a life of mediocrity because I can't enjoy things that are too good. Like sometimes I can't watch 30 Rock because I get too jealous of Tina Fey for being funnier than me. Or I can't go to concerts that are too awesome because I get sad that I am not in the band and that I do not, in fact, "rock". In the end, I just end up watching real housewives of NJ so I can feel good about myself.

Similarly, looking at this picture just makes me sad. When I got it I felt a distinct sinking in my heart and then I went and made a sandwich (it was lunch time and I was planning on making a sandwich anyways...but still).

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Zach, L.A.

Submitted by Bridget: "This is my friend Zach. He lives in LA. He is the cutest boy ever. Although we are super good friends and he has a gorgeous and awesome girlfriend, we did make out once at a party when we were in college. He doesn't make me nervous, but he used to!!!!"

As someone who has never been to L.A. this seems like the quintessential L.A. person to me. It's not his long curly blond hair, or his surfer tan or the fact that he makes American Apparel look like "club wear" instead of house party or barfing in the bushes wear. It's more this L.A. androgynous thing he has going...which is not like NY androgynous where people look like sexless rectangular robot aliens...L.A. androgynous is like a drawing by a little kid learning to draw who doesn't realize that you only put those six lines for eyelashes on the girl drawings and that the boys get two circles and three line bicycles instead. But I guess that "poorly drawn" quality is an L.A. trademark (see: boobs, noses, brow lines)

p.s. "gorgeous and awesome girlfriend" booooring. Although I like it in the context of having made out with really is like The Hills over there!!!!!!! Jealous.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Jurgen, Paris via Munich via the past

Submitted by Jurgen, photo by Oliviero Toscani, 1979. Suit by Guy Dormeuil.

I had the honour of exhibiting with Jurgen Ostarhild this week, and he sent me in this picture to prove that he was once a cute boy himself. Thanks to all of you who flew in from your respective countries to see the show. As I was not there for most of it I will only assume that this is what you did. Also that you are invisible elves and that's why no one saw you as the gallery was slowly but surely inundated with crickets.

While we were setting up Jurgen fell from a ladder and hit his head on the wall. There were a few terrifying seconds where he lay motionless on the ground and we all thought that maybe he was dead or broken. But then, he rose again, like an eccentric silver-haired german phoenix from the ashes, that or Jesus.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

So Fun Event for Winners!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh this poor teen British boy. All he wanted to do was travel to Paris with his slightly post-pubescent girlfriend and pass himself off as a twenty-something hipster. Now look at him, he
is the unwitting poster boy for everything I have done, and ever will do.

On that note. I am part of a so fun event this Friday and Saturday in Paris. Although not many of you "live" in "paris" I will post it anyways to show what a Paris winner I am. Also maybe one day some French people learn English , decide to find out who is the top winner in Paris (maybe it is them? they will ask themselves), Google "Paris + Winner" then see that, oh no it is not they who hold that spot. It is I. I!

I am just going to post the text from the Facebook event now because I am also a winner of cut and paste:

Location:Door Studios, 9_9 bis Lediguieres, Paris, France
Time:12:00PM Friday, September 18th

As part of the Paris-wide beauty event, les Rives de la Beauté, Door Studios is opening its doors to a selection of exhibitions and workshops to examine the link between beauty and image.

-Photo projections by Jurgen Ostarhild and Marie Richer
-Exhibit of selected works by Jens Stuart
-Beauty workshop by Louise Wittlich


Jurgen Ostarhild

Jens Stuart

Louise Wittlich

Door Studios

Rives de la Beaute

Monday, September 14, 2009

Nick, Australia

Submitted by Hayley: "This is my bestest friend in the whole wide world, Nicholas. Apart from being ridiculously adorable, he has mad skillz in everything he tries - especially photography and all things musical. He moved to Melbourne a few months ago, much to my chagrin. I miss his orsumness."

Not a very good best friend then is he? JK (funny!) I'm sure he's orsum. I can't really see his face though I'll be honest. But considering that today in my mailbox I had the choice between Nick and a picture of a nude obese man I chose the latter, thought better of it, then chose the former.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Barny, Philipines via France

Submitted by Carla: "This is Barny, I met him when he came to the Philippines for an internship (he's French, but im Filipino) and he is seriously THE most good looking man i have ever seen EVER "

I agree that this person is handsome in the face. But he looks like a typical French douchebag to me. I'm sorry. I was walking around the 16th in Paris yesterday (aka douchebagvilleland) and now I'm traumatized by people like this 4 EV R.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Todd, America

Submitted by anon. "This is my guy friend that i thought i was in love with but i'm not (uhhh...) and he's weird but beautiful and fun."

I don't think we have to state the obvious with this picture. The obvious not stated being that this guy looks mentally retarded. We'll have to trust anon that he's beautiful because it's impossible to tell. But what's more beautiful than a guy with a sense of humour, a sense of humour that includes imitating retarded people?

Except in the case that he's actually always like that...which is just super too!

Monday, September 7, 2009

Fabien\Rabbit, Paris

Here are some pictures from this totally wild and crazy photoshoot I did in the rain with the always loveable and old enough to have been your teen dad, Fabien Fabre. You are probably just totally wilded and crazied out by our wildiness and crazyiness.

The photos actually tell a story:

-First it is raining and the rabbit is really sad about his leather bag getting wet (the one he acquired in a David and Goliath battle against a cow which he won by hopping on its head until it went cuuhrazy and then rolling it up in a carpet and throwing it off a bridge).

-Then the rabbit gets attacked by flying pieces of wood (the spirits of the cow's clam friends from under the sea, avenging his death).

-He escapes [not pictured...escape too sneaky to capture].

-Then it stops raining but he still sits there looking sad with his umbrella inside-out cause someone thought it would be cute to lift him up by the ears without realizing that doing that makes bunnies go retarded.

Fabien will be releasing his vinyl ep in October, featuring blablabla ba bla + me in the choir + the other people in the choir (which includes me). I'm about 95% sure that the only reason I was included in the choir was so I would publicize it free...but you know what? I'm ok with that. How else will I share my voice drownded (sic) out by many other voices with the world? Ein? You tell me.

If you are in Paris-town the release will be September 21st in the evening time at Les Disquaires in the 11th. Though since most of you are in oonst-versbalkat and poland-land and iraq-land and united land of american states, you will only be able to attend in spirit :( but also :) (yay spirit! not just for cheerleaders anymore!)

Friday, September 4, 2009

Rafael, Brazil

Submitted by Galatea: " I don't know him too well, just through castings (were both in the same modeling agency) he speaks a little bit of english, seems very nice- was looking through his ipod and thought it was kinda funny to see names like jack johnson, soulja boy, counting crows and jarule. now im understanding where all these brazilian models learn their english"

Let me say that, strictly speaking, I don't consider male models "cute". But that being said, I won't kick them out of = metaphorical bed.

Also, I'm feeling pretty happy about the fact that Soulja Boy is the ESL teacher for this new generation of male models. Now I can feel safe knowing that when I ask my international lovers to "supah man dat ho" (while referring to my self in the third person) and they will know what I'm talkin' 'bout.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Will, Paris

Will works at the Vans store. Does anyone know what Vans' thing is now? Are they a skateboard brand or are they capitalizing on neo-grunge\neo-hippie thing. Or are they going the way of Roxy by Quicksilver and other brands that were cool to me in my youth so many years ago. This salesperson seems to have all bases covered in any case.

Speaking of how I now refer to my youth in the past tense, this l'il guy seemed scared of me. Not in the OMG you're so babe way, but in the agh you're an old monster trying to steal my youth via your olde tyme magical picture box way.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Fabien, Paris

I haven't been out for a full day of picture taking in forever but I'm leaving Paris soon so I figured I should get a few more Franches for the road. I was scared that people were going to be jerks to me though, because I had forgotten if I thought that humanity was essentially good or essentially evil (I was leaning towards evil).

The first boy I fell upon was this intimidating looking character. However, after attempting to act aloof for exactly 3 seconds Fabien turned into a loveable chatterbox who launched into a monologue that went a little like "You're really cool eh? and brave! Cool and brave. Do you think people in Paris are jerks? They probably don't even get you right? They probably don't even understand that you're like this totally cool girl because they're so not cool here." OMG that's so true! All of that. I am so cool and brave and the best!!!!! I forgot for always somehow.

Fabien is a musician\fashioney person, but I think that his real calling is building a Tony Robbins-style empire. One that would encourage all the nerdy white girls into believing that they really are as great as their moms say they are.