Saturday, May 30, 2009

Group of Freends, Paris

Submitted by Bethsabée: "Here you have Alexandre, my favorite sexy grandpa, the handsome Jules, easy rider, and the DJ of all good weadings and parties, Martin. Ain't they so cute, enjoying a bit of countryside, after crazy nights?"

You know what's the best and then later the worst? When you're hanging out with a group of male friends and realize how attractive they all are and it makes you think "Oh man all this hotness must be a reflection of my own hotness...I'm sooo hot"...but then you remember that

a)They are not your boyfriends
b)People like boyfriending pretty girls and friending ugly funny ones*


*at least you're funny!!!! Beauty fades...FAAAAADES.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Beardo, Italia

Submitted by Kerry: "Last summer i went on a trip to Europe with AMA (American Music Abroad). We went to Austria, Germany, and Italy...my friends and i decided that we were going to take ninja shots of all the hot guys so that we could bring them home so all of our friends would be jealous of us."

You know what is good about beardos? Beards hide weak chins and other facial problems. They also allow you to imagine that any hotness you want lurks behind them. Kind of how someone's only speaking italian allows you to imagine any hot personality you want. Unless they're wearing Billabong shirts? Yes even. I am being lenient with my criticism because:

a) europe =weird in the clothes\misunderstanding of the connotations of American brands
b) this was taken last year...and though billabong shirts weren't cool last year either...there was a time in the past where I wore an all camouflage outfit (with camouflage accessories!) so one must be forgiving of past mistakes.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Alex, Childhood

I was trolling around on Facebook looking at other peoples personal marketing campaigns when I came upon this person I forgot I had added. Alex was my childhood best friend and our moms tried to smoosh us together like a Ken and a Barbie until we each moved away from home and beyond. At one point he was selling knives door to door and my mom bought some, then for a time whenever I visited home she would point at them and say "Look what Alex sold me! What a lovely young man! So handsome now! Also he's at Harvard", or while cutting the meat "Wow! Alex was right! These knives are great! p.s. Harvard."

He actually isn't at Harvard, that was just some weird lie. But he is a rocket scientist. And not the way that I am a rocket scientist as well according to facebook, but for reals.

Should have listened to mom and married/bought quality steak knives from him?

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Thomas, Paris

Yesss!!!!!! I have finally accomplished my personal goal of taking someone's picture on the subway. I've thought of this moment almost every day for a year. With the exception of those days when everyone on the subway is stinky and taking up too much space and you HATE THEM ALL.

Anyways...do you think its awkward going up to people on the street and then quickly running away? What about going up to them in an enclosed car and then...sort of walking away...then getting shoved back into them when you're trying to exit in a sea of people...then walking in the same direction at an inescapably equal pace that you cannot escape, either by walking faster or slower.

WAY WORSE!!!

Friday, May 15, 2009

BEST MUSIC VIDEO OF LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Those of you who have read my monthly twitters will know that there was a secret project in which Pedro, Fritz, Jean-Christophe and Ira (the banner models) were involved. Well this is that.

I think they got a little bit too big for their britches after getting the banner contract (and yes there was a casting couch...the real world called, it wants its...you not being aware of it back). Anyways, they have gotten themselves embroiled in some sort of Milli Vanilli type scandal in which they have replaced a real, less attractive, band for public appearances. Do not care tho, it's their future public humiliation not mine. Disloyal tramps.

www.myspace.com\polluxfromrio

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Boyband, Singapore

Submitted by Peiwen: "They do make other girls/guys nervous but not me after knowing them since I was 9. Hope you like it =) p.s: Just hope they don't kill me "

You know when you're walking through chinatown\polishtown and you hear pop music and think "Haha other countries have famous people that are different than our famous people. Funny!" Yes. Funny. But in the end, friends, their pop stars are not so different from ours:

(From left)

-Nelson: The nice\young\mormon\buddhist one,
-Bin: The bad-ass\military\torturey one
-Nick: The joker\'funny' ;) one
-Andris: The hunk\solo career one.

Pop star names too am I right?

Monday, May 11, 2009

NERDRANOSAURUS, Edinburgh

Submitted by N "Hai! I live with this boy! Isnt he nerdy and cute? He's an archaeology major so he likes getting dirty on his knees ... no but seriously he's a prude".

He is cyut! He would be even cyutter if we could see the alternative looking girl kissing him so as to contextualize his nerdiness (aka a zany nerd not an anal retentive, no wet sponges in the sink allowed or else silent treatment for weeks nerd)...but unfortunately she looks exactly like my high school arch-nemesis so she has turned into a DINOSAUR.

PLEASE LEAVE DINOSAUR-RELATED PUNS IN THE COMMENTS.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Jack, Amsterdam via Berlin via Australia via Beer


Submitted by Megan "It's the middle of the night in Amsterdam, which is usually a sign that I'm doing something I'll regret, but blast it all, I'm sending in a picture I snapped of my friend on a recent trip to his artist colony bunker in scary East Berlin. He's actually Australian, and as an American I think it's safe to assume all North Americans hear the subtle *drop* of panties to the floor when an accent is attached to a cute, surly face. Well, enough middle of the night madness, this is Jack in all his surly glory (he makes this face 100% of the time; it is somewhat disconcerting when one is trying to provide said Jack with all the fun she has to offer, but I suppose it suits his sweet young face). If he ever sees this (although I did alert him to his possible looming internet celebrity, so it's not out of the question) I will be very embarrassed. In fact I'm already embarrassed. But still sending the picture. Enjoy!"

HAHAH. What a long drunk email. I like how the beer who sent this in (ultimately) is in the picture winking at us with its beery little eyes. I was going to cut it (the email) but then thought it was more of a winner like this.

This e-mail reminds me of the time I got drunk (by myself?) and facebook messaged my ex-boyfriend a long email about how I was happy for him that he had a new girlfriend BUT I was lonely and sad BUT in the end I was being the bigger man and then I blogged about how his new girlfriend had cross-eyes and then posted my bloglink as my facebook status...hihi...so sillay. Amirite?

Actually it's not like that time at all. Except that both cases involve alcohol and the internet and crazy. And both were things that were not funny the next morning but I assume will be funny 1 week to 5 years later when the boy becomes irrelevant (aka is dead to us...dead!). Unless he becomes sort of famous and we always see him floating around the internet aka in our dreams (for example...that would be one possible example in which it would never be funny).

Friday, May 8, 2009

Band Pictures, California



Submitted by Tatiana: "The guys from (this band) are the cutest of the cute. I met them when they played two shows here in L.A. They are super nice."

I like these pictures because all three band members have freakishly symmetrical faces.

I dont like them because I should know what a band is all about by looking at their pictures, so that I can talk about them without having to listen to their music. Are they zany? Does their band use keyboards? Then why do these pictures look so country club? Is it because they are boring rich dudes who make rock? Then why do they have balloons instead of ivory backscratchers? Bored now.

Also I feel like the middle one especially has been given a makeover against his will.

These are like those WTF "Metronomy by Karl Lagerfield" ads. Has anyone seen those?? That's exactly what is happening here...which can be summed up as a lack of keeping it real.

Or: when keeping it real goes wrong.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

1 YEARS OF BEING NERVOUS!!!!

Hey woah it has already been one year of blog! Actually two days ago it was...Maybe I will start counting my life in internet years, which are like dog years because 1) they are shorter due to internet making hours (life?) pass by in minutes and 2) there are a lot of dogs on the internet these days am I right?

The following is a summary of the interyear. I am going to write the list like a French person would for the first few then I will get bored of that joke and just write normal:

-8 contry go to...9 if contry Basque is contry...12 if Franch count for 4 contry because of glorious

-5 indie famous people meeting (real life)

- 5 other indie famoos people meeting (internet life)

-100 times making the same joke

-1 time meeting skinniest and beardiest boy of them all
-10 times forgetting how many people I've done it with (you must write this down friends!!!!!!!!! It will make you feel more organized\less slutty somehow...

-20 times getting hit on (if you take pictures of boys this will happen to you too!)

-1 having weird crisis about if internet crushes on pictures is cheating

-1 ultimately decided it isn't

-1 weird teen stalker

-1 angry teen low self-esteem email (sorry teen! Please love yourself!)

-200 pounds lost making my plus size "lush and lovely" (like an English garden!)

-250 pounds regained making my plus size "sassy saucisson" (saucisson is French for sexy)

-4 copycat blogs that are more famous than me

-1 bitterness

-1 getting over French dudes

-60 pages of hit book written + 5 introductions + 20 page list\appendix

-The internet: priceless
-Internet fame: worthless...I mean...priceless
-My 300 boyfriends: priceless...unless you are offering me a really good price...I'M NOT MADE OF STONE

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Cyut Gays, U.S.A

Submitted by Adrienne: "This is my dear friend Perry and his boyfriend Daniel. He has adorable little strips in his eyebrows from coincidentally symmetrical accidents, eyes that twinkle all the time, and he once got very offended when Daniel told him that he just doesn't have what it takes to be an "east coast model."

Oh man, love the the gays. I think from now on I am only going to feature gays. I'm so sick of the straights. The more I sift through boy pictures the more I feel like an amorphous asexual blob of half internet/ half human. Don't get me wrong friends, your boyfriends are really cyut. But I'm starting to feel like a gynocologist feels about his wifes vagina except with men (as a whole, not only their vaginas).

Anyways, since I am asexual now and I am going purely on aesthetics...the gays will probably win most of my love from now on, or else until my next door neighbours stop having loud sex and grossing me out about heterosexuality.