Thursday, July 30, 2009

Roman Rugby Team, Italy


Submitted by Jessica : "It was June, high Rugby season, and the Roman Rugby team was out in full force. My best friend and I were eating at a tiny restaurant on a side street near the Piazza di Spagna. I left to go to the restroom, and when I came back she was practically in tears, trying to tell me and show me the pictures of what I'd just missed. Frantically, I leaned over the table to see them walking down the street, 8 perfect asses disappearing into the crowds..."

I feel like I am attracted to these people only on some theoretical, cultural vacuum level. But that in real life I would hate them in the personality. Especially if they spoke English, then I would probably hate crime them (e.g. toilet paper their cars (with 1-ply (because I'm poor but still like to have a good time))).

Plus you just know they hang out with Berlusconi at his sexy statuatory rape parties.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Sam & Friends, Manchester

Submitted by Emma: "Look at this cute boy (the middle one). he is 31 or something, not a tween. i used to work at a vegan grocery store with him in manchester and everyone had to wear a denim apron, we all looked like dicks. But Sam is the cutest! Cutey, cute, cute."

Ya he looks cute. Reminds me of those days where all you wanted was the guy who worked at the vegan food shoppe\luxury cheese store because you knew he was probably smart about things that were important but boring for you, like philosophy and\or veganism.

But how much can we really trust this picture? Vegans are tricky! Always tricking us with their meat flavoured patties and buttery spreads! And here he is clearly tricking us by using these other "urban grocers" to make himself look relatively more attractive.

Example, a lizard is usually considered to fall on the cuteness scale between moderately cute to creepy. Look at this guy, not much going for him in the cute department, except maybe his big eyes and dormant Fern Gully connotations for us olds.

But look how cute he gets once he is joined by his friends, Disgusting Live Chick Embryo and Frat Party Joker Goat:

See...just like I said...tricky.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Aidan, Middle-America

Submitted by Lynne: " went to this bbq dinner with my friend and I saw this guy who I was told was a model for American Apparel so I asked my friend to take a pic with him"

Man being a model for American Apparel is the new being chosen to dance on American bandstand.

It's really nice how he agreed to take a picture with that withered ghoul...I hope he was nice about it and not just doing it so that he could have an ironic Facebook picture later and change his status to "looves withered ghouls...not! High five! \[] (thumbs up emoticon)"

p.s. is this guy gay or is he gay?

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Krazy Teenz, Perth

Submitted by Lisa: "Hellloooo. Im Lisa. I ran up to these boys & asked for their picture, they stared & said nothing, I said please you're cute, they said okkaaaaay, I took the photo and walked away quickly. I want to marry the guy on the right, then divorce him and marry the guy on the left."

Oh man I totally know that awkward "okkaaaay". It comes from them feeling scared that their carefully created hairstyles and cool, fry-eating facades are going to erode as soon as they have to talk. And from loving you, probably.

And what about middle teen? You don't want to marry him? You could eat french fries in bed and drink coca cola all day long, and when you get accidentally teen pregnant by skinny dipping in the same swimming pool (it can happen!) and become a teen mom you can gel your baby's hair into new and even zanier hairstyles!



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Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Totally Modern Band, Brooklyn

Submitted by Georgia: "The singer in my band is now living in Brooklyn with a HIVE of cute boys! And two of them are brothers...squeee!!! I have attached pictures of them in the music room. Unfortuately I am in the pictures too but I look forward to being scribbled out, and rightly so. "

That's weird, I don't see a woman in this picture. All I see is a totally modern experimental music box which means that I probably like this band now.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Edgar, New Jeezy via Colombia

Submitted by Amanda : "This is Edgar [roll your r's!] he's from Colombia via New Jersey. He works on the boardwalk and we stalked him for three days straight. One day we told him we'd meet him at midnight and we didn't...and he was sad. The next day we were leaving and we'll never forget him."

OMG I love this picture sooooooooo much it brings a tear to my eye. And it's not because I just drank half a bottle of wine by myself while listening to "the greatest love of all" on replay. You know why it is the tearing of eye? Cause it keeps it real!!!! Look at how real everyone is keeping it! I couldn't even draw dragons on their faces!

You know what is not keeping it real, friends?

1-Sending pictures of really young t(w)eens and then saying they are 20. When you're an old like me you can tell the difference.

2-Sending pictures of yourself semi-nude and writing messages like "lol this is this cyut guy everyone loves him at the high school". When you're an old (in internet years) this also is an obvious lie

3-Sending pictures of your boyfriend's band who has less than 100 listens on Myspace and writing "omg this is a so good band that everyone is loving it to the max!" a) no they're not b)my blog won't make them famous. Srsly. Totem pole---->bottom.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Teen, London (Ontario...aka the real london)

Submitted by Celia: "This is my boyfriend he is 19"

That's not really what she wrote that's just what it looked like to me. It was like when people are on a diet and everyone around them turns into steaming talking roasted chickens. Does that happen to you in real life too? Cause it happens to me all the time.

One time I ate a youtube video because I thought it was a steaming talking roasted chicken.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Hangin' out at Hogwart's, Manila Campus

Submitted by K.C. "My boyfriend. Tall, dark, handsome and he spoils me!"

Man the Phillipines have really been representing in my inbox lately. I have a question for Filipinos since now I know you're watching. Did you Filipinos like that Black Eyed Peas song
about Filipinos? PS the only reason I know about this song is because I was watching MTV while visiting my parents because I fell back into teen habits while I was there, not because I'm up on the Black Eyed Peas.

Anyhoo, it seemed like an obvious attempt to capture the under-capitalised-upon Filipino market. But it was in Tagalog so maybe it was saying deep things about Filipino identity that I could never understand and it was secretly awesome. Things like "Filipinos are the best" or "hooray for Filipinos".

Can someone Filipino please explain the significance of this song to you in the comments and lay this mystery to rest once and for all?

p.s. don't leave me hanging

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Modern Wearer of Underpants, Italy

Submitted by Kerry: "Last summer i went on a trip and we took ninja shots of all the hot guys so that we could bring them home so all of our friends would be jealous of us"


Does this look like a normal and comfortable way to stand\wear a shirt? Or does it look like this young man is trying to show off his modern designer underpant selection?

Sunday, July 12, 2009

BEST FRIENDS: A Paris Story

"Hey Mang! We're over here! Let's do this fair thing arewerite?"



"I want a slurpee!"


"No not that one! That one mothfucka! JK"



"Sup betches"



"Yeah that's right. We said it"



"You gonna win us a hello kitty l'il guys?"



"Yeah! You did it! Let's get a Cornetto to celebrate!"



"MMMM...Cornetto...I can taste that coney goodness now"




"Should we play this really fun looking soccer game?" "Nah. That shit looks too dangerous."



"Aigh't let's relax and listen to some music and look at our iphones...play it cool if you will"



"Your music selection is weak mang"



"Sigh. Isn't Paris beautiful friends?"



"But srsly. I am getting tired from all this fun."



"Let's smoke some cigarettes!!!!!!!"



"Awww yeah. That's smooth"



"Time for a l'il HP if you know what I'm saying."



"Snape! You mothafucka! You did not just do that. No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I always knew you were evil"



"I'm feeling pretty sad about Dumbledore right now. I need a snack to feel better"



"Heehee. I have a little treat for you" "woah man I don't want any of that pink shit"



"Yeah the blue. That's what I'm talking about. A manly colour: powder blue"


"Wow. That was such a fun and exciting day friends. Now it's time for me to crush you for all the lip you've been giving me"



"I'm JK mang. High five"

"You're my best friends! Don't we always have such a LOL time together?!?!?!?!?!"



Thanks to real male model Fred D. for being such a modeling sensation! And to Lucas and Jojo for being their usual, sexy naked selves.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

A&F model, London

Submitted by Agy: "I took a picture with this is an Abercrombie & Fitch model in London. His name is Alex. Too bad he's wearing a shirt. He really made me NERVOUS! "

Ya this guy really looks like an A&F model. And by "looks like and A&F model" I mean he looks really cheesy. It's probably not his fault. A&F was just so tainted by that early 2000s LFO song that it could turn anyone into a cheezy cheez pizza with extra cheez. LFO should probably get sued soon.
amirong?

Friday, July 10, 2009

Anthony, Brisbane

Submitted by Francesca: "This is anthony, he is filipino/australian, born in canberra grew up in both the philippines + australia- best of both worlds ;p. Bilingual.creative.global.gorgeous. architectural student"

Soo...no use in stating the obvious about this one unless you are someone who watches movies and says stuff like "he's the bad guy!" when someone with big bushy evil eyebrows pulls out a gun and points it at the hero, or else eats ice cream and says "this is sweet and cold!"

Also...is that a Jesus tattoo? Filipino people are pretty religious no? I base this on one incident in high school where I went to dinner at a Filipino friend's house. Before dinner we had to all hold hands and sing a song about Jesus. It was really uncomfortable for me. Not cause I have anything against Jesus. But cause I didn't know the words and tried to mumble sing so they wouldn't know I was a heathen. (They knew).

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Killian, Australia

Submitted by Sahra: "This is my cute boyfriend, Killian."

Micheal? Is that you? You're alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No but srsly. I love how the background of this picture is so...picturesque Australian tundra, while at the same time he has the same steez as every hip internet youth ever.

Sometimes I feel sad that I can't go to foreign countries and impress people with my wacky North American style anymore because they already know all about it + do it better than me.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Sowwy Canada

This is my friend Keith from Canada. He's looking blue and blurry--not just because I didn't know how to use my camera yet when I took it--but because he's blue in his heart and blurry in his soul about me forgetting Canada day.

It was July 1st but you probably all know that already. Amiwrong?

Does this mean I'm not Canadian anymore? Have I crossed over to the dark world of expat-hood...a life of parties with people who have nothing in common, desperate clinging to anyone who speaks the same language as you and always feeling a bit nervous about making purchases (e.g. a can of coke from the convenience store)?

Sigh. Hope not. Getting fat over here. And not in a good way. Oh wait...there is no good way! H8 U world. Why isn't the world opposite world!!!!!!!!!! (-being from a rich country)

Please don't forsake me motherland. I heart U!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Taylor, East-Coast? West Coast? Which is the Best Coast?

Submitted by Anon. "Meet Taylor. He's half-Italian. He surfs. He can quote (with voice effects!) the entirety of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. What more does one need in life?"

What's this whole "surfer" thing. I don't get it cause I'm from middle-Amercanada where the only thing we "surf" is the "internet" for "porn".

I only hung out with real life surfers once, in Avon, North Carolina and they gave us a ginormous pile of coke and I did so much that I had it all over my face like I had just eaten a powdered donut. Then my heart started beating so fast that I passed out in the sand and thought "I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die" over and over for hours while my friend was off making out on the pier. Lolz. Teenagers amirite? So sillay!

Monday, July 6, 2009

Can't Really See your Face I'll be Honest, New York

Submitted by A. "there are two men in my life, and this is another one my roommate. body-conscious type that cooks gourmet for hi girlfriend and watched shit like jean luc godard.he is korean but grew up in dubai. now he lives with me (ny), i hope het gets a girlfriend soon."

Another Asian I know I know. But they just are the most attractive lately. Maybe if white people stop "looking like bowls of vanilla pudding" and teens stop "sending me pictures that I can get arrested for owning" we could have a little bit more variety, hmmm?

Anyways he doesn't really count as asians because he is one of those alternative asians who has fully adopted the alternative american lifestyle via "watching shit like jean luc godard", drinking beer, wearing a cardigan, cooking gourmet for his girlfriend but also needing a girlfriend...?

Feeling confused...:(

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Stephen, Paris

I took so many pictures of this boy and I couldn't get one where the light was not bouncing off his eyeglass like that. It was like God was telling me "no no...this one was created in my image. Choose him" while beaming rays of light directly at him.

Jesus was asian? Feeling a bit weird about that. But ultimately...accepting my inferiority in stride.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Ben, New York

Submitted by Anon. "this is my friend Ben - I am totally in love with him but alas he istotally in love with men :("

hey that could be a haiku:

This is my friend ben

alas he is in way love

with all of the men


Poetry am i right? I wonder if emoticons count as sylables? cause if not we could add a l'il :( too

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Tsundue, Delhi


Submitted by L. "The first time I saw Tsundue, I knew I had to befriend him. Not just because he is super cute but also cause he is a talented photographer and honing his skills at an Art school. Most memorable moment was a day spent at a flea market clicking endless photos with dinner at the local Korean restaurant (where they mistook him to be Korean). "

Call me "ignant" but I didn't know there were hip looking people like this in India. Considering I can't leave my house with big glasses without teens throwing things at me in the subway and I'm in Paris, I thought it was impossible over there.

Plus my Indian friend went to India and all her cousins made fun of her for wearing skinny jeans because they thought she was wearing them circa the 80s and that she hadn't realized that the new trend was boot cut (circa the 90s)

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Natanael, Paris

No I'm not trying to pass off a gay from Pride as a straight. There are always this many people on the street. It's called high population density morons. This violent sweaty hellhole of a sidewalk is what your collective dream of travelling to Paris executed at precisely the same moment has created. Swears.